Zoolander (2001)

I'm Going Monk Scene 22

The following quotes are the direct screenplay transcript of Scene 22, "I'm Going Monk", from the film Zoolander.

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CHARACTERS IN SCENE 22

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SCENE TRANSCRIPT
  • Hansel
    All right, who's gonna call this sucker?
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  • David Bowie
    If nobody has any objections, I believe I might be of service. Now, this'll be a straight walk-off, old school rules. First model walks, second model duplicates, then elaborates. Okay, boys, let's go to work.
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  • Hansel
    Age before beauty, goat cheese.
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  • Derek Zoolander
    Whatever.
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  • David Bowie
    Right.
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  • Tyson
    Playschool, baby.
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  • Hansel
    You got to cut me. I can't see. I'm blind out there.
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  • Derek Zoolander
    Evian. Evian.
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  • Some Guy
    It's okay. It's okay.
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  • Hansel
    Where am I? Where am I?
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  • Some Guy
    It's okay.
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  • Derek Zoolander
    Kickin', Hoss.
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  • Hansel
    I'm going monk. I got to go monk. Prayer. Prayer. Pray to the Great Spirit.
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  • Music
    Do it, Hansel. Just do it. Do it, Hansel.
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  • Derek Zoolander
    Why is he sticking his hand in his pants?
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  • Some Guy
    Do it, Hansel. That's what I'm talking about.
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  • Tyson
    Derek, you're not a kid any more. You could hurt yourself out there.
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  • Derek Zoolander
    I can do this, Tyson. Thank God I wore underwear today.
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  • Some Guy
    He's going for it.
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  • Tyson
    Oh, my God.
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  • David Bowie
    Disqualified.
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  • Matilda
    Derek, come on. Come on.
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  • Katinka
    Come on.
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