Zoolander (2001)

School Commercial Scene 31

The following quotes are the direct screenplay transcript of Scene 31, "School Commercial", from the film Zoolander.

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CHARACTERS IN SCENE 31

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SCENE TRANSCRIPT
  • Derek Zoolander
    Hi, I'm former male supermodel Derek Zoolander. And here at the Derek Zoolander Centre for Kids Who Can't Read Good, and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good, Too, we teach students of all ages, everything they need to know to learn to be a professional model and a professional human being. Our diverse faculty includes business management teacher, and former model agent Maury Ballstein.
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  • Maury Ballstein
    The designer's got your nuts in a vice, offering you ten million plus three percent, of every pair of underwear sold. What are you gonna do?
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  • Students
    Screw him! Hold out for more!
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  • Maury Ballstein
    That's what I'm talking about!
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  • Derek Zoolander
    So join now, because at the Derek Zoolander Centre for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good, Too, we teach you that there's more to life, than just being really, really, really good-looking. Right, kids?
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  • Students
    Right!
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  • Mitch
    And cut! Looks great. I think we got it.
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  • Derek Zoolander
    All right, Mitch. Thanks.
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  • Mitch
    All right, everybody! That's a wrap!
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  • Derek Zoolander
    Hey, Hansel.
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  • Hansel
    Hey, D-Rock, I'm gonna take these kids over to the George Washington Bridge, give them a little lesson in base jumping. I'll catch you in the teacher's lounge later on?
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  • Derek Zoolander
    All right.
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  • Hansel
    All right, guys. Last one to the helicopter's a rotten egg. Let's go!
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  • Derek Zoolander
    Hey, Matilda!
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  • Matilda
    There's Daddy! Hi.
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  • Derek Zoolander
    Hey. How's Derek Jr.?
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  • Matilda
    He's great. Guess what. He made his first look today.
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  • Derek Zoolander
    Really?
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  • Matilda
    You wanna show Daddy your look, Derek, Jr.?
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  • Derek Zoolander
    Wow. Wanna hang out for story hour?
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  • Matilda
    Great. Yeah. Let's go.
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  • Derek Zoolander
    Hey kids, who wants to hear a story?
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  • Kids
    Yeah!
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