NEW!!! Win cash prizes in our Free Grid Contests!  First 100 players get the boxes!  Click Here to grab your box for the upcoming game.

Zoolander (2001)

Derek's Retirement Scene 7

The following quotes are the direct screenplay transcript of Scene 7, "Derek's Retirement", from the film Zoolander.

Please click the favorite button below the quotes you like, to help us identify the best quotes from Zoolander.

CHARACTERS IN SCENE 7

Enjoy this? Share it with friends!

SCENE TRANSCRIPT
  • Derek Zoolander
    Rufus, Brint and Meekus were like brothers to me. And when I say brother, I don't mean like an actual brother, but I mean it like the way black people use it, which is more meaningful, I think. If there's anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it's that a male model's life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs, and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident. So today, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to take this opportunity, to announce my...
    3 people liked this quote
  • Jacobim Mugatu
    Hansel. He's so hot right now. Hansel.
    Be the first to like this quote
  • Derek Zoolander
    I would like to take this... People! I'd like to announce my retirement from the male modeling profession.
    Be the first to like this quote
  • Maury Ballstein
    What?
    Be the first to like this quote
  • Derek Zoolander
    I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really good-looking. And I plan on finding out what that is. Thank you.
    Be the first to like this quote
  • Matilda
    Mr. Mugatu! Mr. Mugatu! If I could just have a moment of your time, please, sir. Just one minute of your time, please, sir! Derek? Derek, hey!
    Be the first to like this quote
  • Derek Zoolander
    What do you want?
    Be the first to like this quote
  • Matilda
    Actually, I'm trying to talk to Mugatu, but he's tougher to get to than the president.
    Be the first to like this quote
  • Derek Zoolander
    I thought you were gonna tell me what a bad "eugoogolizer" I am.
    Be the first to like this quote
  • Matilda
    A what?
    Be the first to like this quote
  • Derek Zoolander
    A "eugoogolizer." One who speaks at funerals. Or did you think I'd be too stupid to know what a "eugoogoly" was? How could you have written those terrible things about me?
    Be the first to like this quote
  • Matilda
    Look, Derek, my editor put that headline on it, okay? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know it came off kind of harsh.
    Be the first to like this quote
  • Derek Zoolander
    Yeah, well, fortunately for you, not too many people I know read your little Time magazine, or whatever it's called.
    Be the first to like this quote
  • Matilda
    Look, maybe you could do me a favor. All I'm trying to do is get some background information on Mugatu.
    Be the first to like this quote
  • Derek Zoolander
    Mugatu? If you knew anything, you'd know Mugatu's the one designer who's never hired me.
    Be the first to like this quote
  • Matilda
    Come on. There's gotta be...
    Be the first to like this quote
  • Derek Zoolander
    Sorry, lady. Not interested. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got an after funeral party to attend.
    Be the first to like this quote

Enjoy this? Share it with friends!