Zoolander (2001)

I'm Not a Gymnast Scene 8

The following quotes are the direct screenplay transcript of Scene 8, "I'm Not a Gymnast", from the film Zoolander.

Please click the favorite button below the quotes you like, to help us identify the best quotes from Zoolander.

CHARACTERS IN SCENE 8

Enjoy this? Share it with friends!

SCENE TRANSCRIPT
  • Maury Ballstein
    Go back home? You're overreacting.
    Be the first to like this quote

  • Derek Zoolander
    I want to do something meaningful with my life, Maury. I have deeper thoughts on my mind. The other day, I was thinking about volunteering, to help teach underprivileged children to learn how to read. Just thinking about it was the most rewarding experience I've ever had.
    Be the first to like this quote

  • Maury Ballstein
    Derek, I don't think you're cut out for that kind of thing.
    Be the first to like this quote

  • Derek Zoolander
    I mean, maybe I could even have my own institute. We could call it the Derek Zoolander Centre for Kids Who Can't Read Good.
    Be the first to like this quote

  • Maury Ballstein
    What about us? We built this place together. Look out! Tushy squeeze!
    Be the first to like this quote

  • Lady
    Maury!
    Be the first to like this quote

  • Maury Ballstein
    Derek, when I met you, you were a junior petite who couldn't book a goddamn Sears catalogue, and who couldn't turn left to save his ass. Now look at you.
    Be the first to like this quote

  • Derek Zoolander
    I can turn left!
    Be the first to like this quote

  • Maury Ballstein
    Yeah, right. Derek, please. Some male models go left at the end of a runway, others go right. You got a lot of gifts, but hanging a louie just isn't one of them. Sit down! Hey, you want to hear some great news? Mugatu wants you for his new campaign.
    Be the first to like this quote

  • Derek Zoolander
    Didn't you hear me, Maury? I just retired.
    Be the first to like this quote

  • Maury Ballstein
    But this is Mugatu, Derek. Right now, this guy is so hot, he can take a crap, wrap it in tin foil, put a couple of fishhooks on it, and sell it to Queen Elizabeth as earrings. Derek, you're the laughing stock of the entire fashion world. What do we do when we fall off the horse? We get back on.
    Be the first to like this quote

  • Derek Zoolander
    Sorry, Maury. I'm not a gymnast. I'm going back home. I need to get in touch with my roots. Figure out who I am. See you around, Maury.
    Be the first to like this quote

Enjoy this? Share it with friends!