Captain America: Civil War (2016)

How Old Is This Guy? Scene 29

The following quotes are the direct screenplay transcript of Scene 29, "How Old Is This Guy?", from the film Captain America: Civil War.

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SCENE TRANSCRIPT
  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    Wow, it's so weird how you run into people at the airport. Don't you just feel weird?
    7 people liked this quote

  • James Rhodes (War Machine)
    Definitely weird.
    2 people liked this quote

  • Steve Rogers (Captain America)
    Hear me out, Tony. That doctor, the psychiatrist, he's behind all of this.
    2 people liked this quote

  • T'challa (Black Panther)
    Captain.
    4 people liked this quote

  • Steve Rogers (Captain America)
    Your highness.
    2 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    Anyway. Ross gave me 36 hours to bring you in. That was 24 hours ago. Can you help a brother out?
    2 people liked this quote

  • Steve Rogers (Captain America)
    You're after the wrong guy.
    2 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    Your judgment is askew. Your war buddy killed innocent people yesterday.
    2 people liked this quote

  • Steve Rogers (Captain America)
    And there are 5 more super soldiers just like him. I can't let the doctor find them first, Tony. I can't.
    2 people liked this quote

  • Natasha (Black Widow)
    Steve. You know, what's about to happen. Do you really want to punch your way out of this one?
    2 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    All right, I've run out of patience. Underoos! Nice job, kid.
    9 people liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
    Thanks. Well, I could've stuck the landing a little better. It's... just the new suit... Well, it's nothing, Mr. Stark. It's-It's perfect, thank you.
    13 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    Yeah, we don't really need to start a conversation.
    1 person liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
    Okay. Cap... Captain. Big fan, I'm Spider-Man.
    13 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    Yeah, we'll talk about it later. Just...
    1 person liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
    Hey, everyone.
    9 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    ... good job.
    1 person liked this quote

  • Steve Rogers (Captain America)
    You've been busy.
    2 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    And you've been a complete idiot. Dragging in Clint. Rescuing Wanda from a place she doesn't even want to leave. A safe place. I'm trying to keep... I'm trying to keep you from tearing the Avengers apart.
    10 people liked this quote

  • Steve Rogers (Captain America)
    You did that when you signed.
    8 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    Alright, I'm done. You're gonna turn Barnes over and you're gonna come with us. NOW! Because it's us! We're squaded JSOC, guys, with no compunction about being impolite.
    4 people liked this quote

  • Sam Wilson (Falcon)
    We found it. The quinjet's in hanger five, north runway.
    2 people liked this quote

  • Scott Lang (Ant-Man)
    Alright, Lang.
    3 people liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
    Hey, guys. Something...
    4 people liked this quote

  • James Rhodes (War Machine)
    Whoa. What-What the hell was that?
    2 people liked this quote

  • Scott Lang (Ant-Man)
    I believe this is yours, Captain America.
    12 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    Oh, great. Alright, there's two on the parking deck. One of them is Maximoff, I'm going to grab her. Rhodey, you want to take Cap?
    4 people liked this quote

  • Steve Rogers (Captain America)
    Got two in the terminal. Wilson and Barnes.
    2 people liked this quote

  • T'challa (Black Panther)
    Barnes is mine!
    1 person liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
    Hey, Mr. Stark, what should I do?
    2 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    What we discussed. Keep your distance. Web 'em up.
    1 person liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
    Okay, copy that!
    3 people liked this quote

  • T'challa (Black Panther)
    Move, Captain. I won't ask a second time.
    1 person liked this quote

  • Scott Lang (Ant-Man)
    Look, I really don't want to hurt you.
    3 people liked this quote

  • Natasha (Black Widow)
    I wouldn't stress about it.
    9 people liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
    What the hell was that?
    6 people liked this quote

  • Sam Wilson (Falcon)
    Everyone's got a gimmick now.
    6 people liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
    You have a metal arm? That is awesome, dude! You have the right to remain silent!
    19 people liked this quote

  • James Rhodes (War Machine)
    Sorry, Cap. This won't kill you but it ain't gonna tickle either.
    2 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    Wanda, I think you hurt Vision's feelings.
    3 people liked this quote

  • Wanda Maximoff (Scarlet Witch)
    You locked me in my room.
    7 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    Okay. First, that's an exaggeration. Second, I did it to protect you. Hey, Clint.
    3 people liked this quote

  • Clint Barton (Hawkeye)
    Hey, man.
    2 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    Clearly retirement doesn't suit you, get tired of shooting golf?
    2 people liked this quote

  • Clint Barton (Hawkeye)
    Well, I played 18, I shot 18. Just can't seem to miss.
    11 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    First time for everything.
    3 people liked this quote

  • Clint Barton (Hawkeye)
    Made you look.
    3 people liked this quote

  • Friday
    Multiple contusions detected.
    2 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    Yeah, I detected that too.
    5 people liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
    Oh god. Hey buddy, I think you lost this! Are those wings carbon fiber?
    6 people liked this quote

  • Sam Wilson (Falcon)
    Is this stuff coming out of you?
    2 people liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
    That would explain the rigidity flexibility ratio which, gotta say, that's awesome man.
    9 people liked this quote

  • Sam Wilson (Falcon)

    4 people liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)

    6 people liked this quote

  • Bucky Barnes (Winter Soldier)
    You couldn't have done that earlier?
    16 people liked this quote

  • Sam Wilson (Falcon)
    I hate you.
    16 people liked this quote

  • Scott Lang (Ant-Man)
    Captain, heads up! Throw it at this. Now!
    1 person liked this quote

  • James Rhodes (War Machine)
    Oh, come on!
    1 person liked this quote

  • Scott Lang (Ant-Man)
    Oh, man. I thought it was a water truck. Uh... sorry.
    8 people liked this quote

  • James Rhodes (War Machine)
    Alright. Now, I'm pissed.
    2 people liked this quote

  • Natasha (Black Widow)
    Is this, part of the plan?
    1 person liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    Well, my plan was to go easy on them. You want to switch it up?
    1 person liked this quote

  • Clint Barton (Hawkeye)
    There's our ride.
    1 person liked this quote

  • Steve Rogers (Captain America)
    Come on!
    1 person liked this quote

  • Vision
    Captain Rogers. I know you believe what you're doing is right. But, for the collective good, you must surrender now.
    1 person liked this quote

  • Sam Wilson (Falcon)
    What do we do, Cap?
    1 person liked this quote

  • Steve Rogers (Captain America)
    We fight.
    3 people liked this quote

  • Natasha (Black Widow)
    This isn't going to end well.
    2 people liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
    They're not stopping.
    6 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    Neither are we.
    1 person liked this quote

  • Natasha (Black Widow)
    We're still friends, right?
    1 person liked this quote

  • Clint Barton (Hawkeye)
    Depends on how hard you hit me.
    3 people liked this quote

  • Wanda Maximoff (Scarlet Witch)
    You're pulling your punches.
    2 people liked this quote

  • Bucky Barnes (Winter Soldier)
    I didn't kill your father.
    2 people liked this quote

  • T'challa (Black Panther)
    Then why did you run? Take that!
    1 person liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
    That thing does not obey the laws of physics at all.
    11 people liked this quote

  • Steve Rogers (Captain America)
    Look kid. There's a lot going on here that you don't understand.
    2 people liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
    Stark said you'd say that. He also said to go for your legs.
    5 people liked this quote

  • Sam Wilson (Falcon)
    Clint, can you get him off me?
    2 people liked this quote

  • Clint Barton (Hawkeye)
    Grappled in?
    4 people liked this quote

  • Scott Lang (Ant-Man)
    Yeah. No, I'm good. I'm good, arrow-guy. Let's go. Let's go!
    6 people liked this quote

  • Steve Rogers (Captain America)
    Did Stark tell you anything else?
    1 person liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
    That you're wrong. You think you're right. And that makes you dangerous.
    2 people liked this quote

  • Steve Rogers (Captain America)
    I guess he had a point. You got heart, kid. Where're you from?
    2 people liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
    Queens.
    4 people liked this quote

  • Steve Rogers (Captain America)
    Brooklyn.
    3 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    Friday?
    1 person liked this quote

  • Friday
    We have some weapon systems offline.
    1 person liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    They what?
    1 person liked this quote

  • Scott Lang (Ant-Man)
    Oh, you're gonna have to take this into the shop.
    3 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    Who's speaking?
    3 people liked this quote

  • Scott Lang (Ant-Man)
    It's your conscience. We don't talk a lot these days.
    20 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    Friday?
    1 person liked this quote

  • Friday
    Deploying fire suppression system.
    2 people liked this quote

  • Scott Lang (Ant-Man)
    Oh oh. Oh boy.
    1 person liked this quote

  • Steve Rogers (Captain America)
    We got to go.
    1 person liked this quote

  • Bucky Barnes (Winter Soldier)
    That guy's probably in Siberia by now.
    1 person liked this quote

  • Steve Rogers (Captain America)
    I'm gonna draw all the fliers. I'll take Vision. You get to the jet.
    1 person liked this quote

  • Sam Wilson (Falcon)
    No, you get to the jet! Both of you! The rest of us aren't getting out of here.
    1 person liked this quote

  • Clint Barton (Hawkeye)
    As much as I hate to admit it, if we're gonna win this one, some of us might have to lose it.
    1 person liked this quote

  • Sam Wilson (Falcon)
    This isn't the real fight, Steve.
    2 people liked this quote

  • Steve Rogers (Captain America)
    Alright, Sam, what's the plan?
    1 person liked this quote

  • Sam Wilson (Falcon)
    We need a diversion, something big.
    1 person liked this quote

  • Scott Lang (Ant-Man)
    I got something kind of big, but I can't hold it very long. On my signal, run like hell. And if I tear myself in half, don't come back for me.
    8 people liked this quote

  • Bucky Barnes (Winter Soldier)
    He's tearing himself in half?
    5 people liked this quote

  • Steve Rogers (Captain America)
    You're sure about this guy?
    2 people liked this quote

  • Scott Lang (Ant-Man)
    I do it all the time. I mean once... in a lab. And I passed out.
    11 people liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
    Holy shit!
    9 people liked this quote

  • James Rhodes (War Machine)
    Okay, tiny dude is big now. He's big now.
    4 people liked this quote

  • Steve Rogers (Captain America)
    I guess that's the signal.
    1 person liked this quote

  • Sam Wilson (Falcon)
    Way to go, tic-tac!
    2 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    Give me back my Rhodey.
    10 people liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
    I got him!
    2 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    Okay. Anybody on our side hiding any shocking, and fantastic abilities they'd like to disclose, I'm open to suggestion.
    5 people liked this quote

  • Scott Lang (Ant-Man)
    You want to get to them? You got to go through me.
    1 person liked this quote

  • Clint Barton (Hawkeye)
    We haven't met yet. I'm Clint.
    4 people liked this quote

  • T'challa (Black Panther)
    I don't care.
    7 people liked this quote

  • Scott Lang (Ant-Man)
    Get off. Something just flew in me!
    3 people liked this quote

  • Natasha (Black Widow)
    You're not going to stop?
    1 person liked this quote

  • Steve Rogers (Captain America)
    You know I can't.
    1 person liked this quote

  • Natasha (Black Widow)
    I'm going to regret this. Go.
    6 people liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
    Hey guys. You ever see that really old movie? Empire Strikes Back?
    13 people liked this quote

  • James Rhodes (War Machine)
    Jesus Tony, how old is this guy?
    2 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    I don't know, I didn't carbon date him. He's on the young side.
    10 people liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
    You know that part? When they're on the snow planet? With the walking thingies?
    4 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    Maybe the kid's on to something.
    1 person liked this quote

  • James Rhodes (War Machine)
    I know. Tony, go high.
    1 person liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
    YES! Ha ha! That was awesome!
    3 people liked this quote

  • Scott Lang (Ant-Man)
    Does anyone have any orange slices?
    9 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    Kid, you alright?
    1 person liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
    Hey!
    2 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    Whoa!
    1 person liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
    Get of me!
    2 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    Guess who? Hi.
    2 people liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
    Oh. Hey man.
    2 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    Yeah.
    1 person liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
    That was scary.
    5 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    Yeah. You're done. Alright?
    2 people liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
    What?
    2 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    You did a good job.
    2 people liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
    No, I'm good. I'm fine.
    3 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    Stay down.
    1 person liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
    No, it's good I gotta get him back!
    2 people liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    You're going home or I'll call Aunt May! You're done!
    2 people liked this quote

  • Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
    Mr. Stark, wait! I'm not done, I'm not... Okay, I'm done.
    11 people liked this quote

  • Natasha (Black Widow)
    I said that I'd help you find him, not catch him. There is a difference.
    1 person liked this quote

  • Vision
    I'm sorry.
    1 person liked this quote

  • Wanda Maximoff (Scarlet Witch)
    Me too.
    3 people liked this quote

  • Vision
    It's as I said, catastrophe.
    5 people liked this quote

  • James Rhodes (War Machine)
    Vision, I got a bandit on my six. Vision, do you copy? Target his thrusters, turn him into a glider.
    1 person liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    Rhodey?
    1 person liked this quote

  • James Rhodes (War Machine)
    Tony, I'm flying a dead stick.
    1 person liked this quote

  • Tony Stark (Ironman)
    RHODES! Read vitals.
    1 person liked this quote

  • Friday
    Heartbeat detected. Emergency medical is on it's way.
    2 people liked this quote

  • Sam Wilson (Falcon)
    I'm sorry.
    1 person liked this quote

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