The Big Lebowski (1998)

Speed of Sound Tour Scene 31

The following quotes are the direct screenplay transcript of Scene 31, "Speed of Sound Tour", from the film The Big Lebowski.

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CHARACTERS IN SCENE 31

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SCENE TRANSCRIPT
  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Ummph.
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  • Maude Lebowski
    Jeffrey.
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Maude?
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  • Maude Lebowski
    Love me.
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Uh, that's my robe.
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  • Maude Lebowski
    Tell me a about yourself, Jeffrey.
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Well, not much to tell.
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    I uh, I was, uh, one of the authors of the Port Huron Statement.-- Uh the original Port Huron Statement.
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  • Maude Lebowski
    Uh-huh.
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Not the compromised second draft. Uh, and then I, uh...ummm, ever hear of the Seattle Seven?
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  • Maude Lebowski
    Mmm...
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    That was me...and uh, uh, six other guys. Uhh, And then uh...the music business briefly.
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  • Maude Lebowski
    Oh?
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Yeah. Roadie for Metallica.
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  • Maude Lebowski
    Oh.
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Speed of Sound Tour.
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  • Maude Lebowski
    Mmm hmmm.
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Bunch of assholes. And then, uh, you know, a little of this, a little of that. Uh, my career's, slowed down a little lately.
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  • Maude Lebowski
    What do you do for, for recreation?
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Oh, the usual. Bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback.
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  • Maude Lebowski
    What happened to your house?
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Oh, Jackie Treehorn trashed the place. He thought I had your father's money, he got me out of the way while he looked for it. Cocktail?
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  • Maude Lebowski
    No thanks. It's not my father's money, it's the Foundation's. Why did he think you have it? And who does?
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Oh, Larry Sellers, this high-school kid. Real fucking brat.
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Ya Know, this is a very complicated case, Maude. Lotta ins, lotta outs. Uh, ya know. Fortunately I'm adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug uh, regimen to keep my mind, you know, uh limber ya know. I'm very fucking close to your father's money.
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  • Maude Lebowski
    I keep telling you, it's the Foundation's money. Father doesn't have any.
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Ummph, What are you talking about? He's fucking loaded.
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  • Maude Lebowski
    No no, the wealth was all Mother's.
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Waa--he runs stuff, uh, you know--
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  • Maude Lebowski
    We did let him run one of the companies, briefly, but he didn't do very well at it.
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Ah...he's uh, you know.
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  • Maude Lebowski
    No. He helps administer the charities now, and I give him a reasonable allowance. He has no money of his own. I know how he likes to present himself; Father's weakness is vanity. Hence the slut.
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Uh. Do you think he uh,--what is that yoga?
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  • Maude Lebowski
    It increases the chances of conception.
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Increases?
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  • Maude Lebowski
    Well yes, what did you think this was all about? Fun and games? I want a child.
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Okay, Yeah, okay but let me, let me explain something about the Dude--
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  • Maude Lebowski
    Look, Jeffrey, I don't want a partner. In fact I don't want the father to be someone I have to see socially, or who'll have any interest in raising the child himself.
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    So...that doctor uh.
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  • Maude Lebowski
    Exactly. Now what happened to your face? Did Jackie Treehorn do that as well?
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    No, uhhh, It was the Chief of police of Malibu. A real reactionary...So your father...Oh yeah, I get it! Yeah, Yeah!
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  • Maude Lebowski
    What?
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Oh man, my thinking about this case had become very uptight. Yeah. Your father--
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  • Maude Lebowski
    Jeffery! What're you talking about?
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  • Maude Lebowski
    Jeffery!
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