The Big Lebowski (1998)

Not Literally His Children Scene 4

The following quotes are the direct screenplay transcript of Scene 4, "Not Literally His Children", from the film The Big Lebowski.

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CHARACTERS IN SCENE 4

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SCENE TRANSCRIPT
  • Brandt
    This is the study. As you can see the various commendations, awards,
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Jeffery Lebowski...
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  • Brandt
    citations, honorary degrees, et cetera.
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Hmm, very impressive.
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  • Brandt
    Please, feel free to inspect them.
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Hum? Oh, I'm not that-- really, uh.
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  • Brandt
    Oh, Please! Please!
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  • Brandt
    That's the key to the city of Pasadena, which Mr. Lebowski received two years ago in recognition of his various civic, uh... Oh,That's a Los Angeles Chamber of Commerce Business Achiever award, which is given--oh not necessarily given every year!
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Hey, is this uh..?
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  • Brandt
    Given only when there's a worthy,
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    is this ...?
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  • Brandt
    somebody--
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Is this him with Nancy?
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  • Brandt
    Yes indeed, that is Mr. Lebowski with the first lady, yes. It was taken when Mrs. Reagan--
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    That's uh, Lebowski on the left there?
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  • Brandt
    Yeah Of course, Mr. Lebowski on the left...
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    So he's a crip...you know a, a...
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  • Brandt
    uh, ahmmm...
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Handicapped, kinda guy?
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  • Brandt
    Mr. Lebowski is disabled, yes. This picture was taken when Mrs. Reagan was first lady of the nation, yes, yes? Not of California.
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Chuck.
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  • Brandt
    In fact he met privately with the President, though unfortunately there wasn't time for a photo opportunity.
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Oh, Nancy's pretty good.
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  • Brandt
    Oh, Wonderful woman. We were very happy to--
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Uh...these are, uh?
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  • Brandt
    Uh those are Mr. Lebowski's children, so to speak--
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Different mothers, huh?
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  • Brandt
    No, they're not--
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    So, racially he's pretty cool--
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  • Brandt
    Aha ha ha uh, they're not literally his children; they're the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, inner-city children of promise but without the necessary means for a necessary means, for a higher education, so Mr. Lebowski has committed to sending all of them to college. Excuse me. Thank you, thank you.
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Far out. Think he's got room for one more?
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  • Brandt
    One uh--oh! Heh heh. You never went to college.
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  • Brandt
    Please, uh, don't touch that.
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Oh yeah, yeah, no I did, but uh, You knowI spent most of my time uh, occupying various, administration buildings uh--
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  • Brandt
    Um Hmmm.
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    --smoking a lot of thai-stick, breaking into the ROTC--
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  • Brandt
    AHa hahahahahaha Yes, --
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    -- and bowling. I'll tell you the truth, Brandt, I don't remember most of it.
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  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Hmmm.
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