The Big Lebowski (1998)

I'm a Lebowski, You're a Lebowksi Scene 5

The following quotes are the direct screenplay transcript of Scene 5, "I'm a Lebowski, You're a Lebowksi", from the film The Big Lebowski.

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CHARACTERS IN SCENE 5

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SCENE TRANSCRIPT
  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Okay sir, you're a Lebowski, I'm a Lebowski, that's terrific, but I'm very busy, as I can imagine you are. What can I do for you sir?
    5 people liked this quote

  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Uh, well sir, it's, uh, this rug I have, it really tied the room together... uh...
    6 people liked this quote

  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    You told Brandt on the phone, he told me. Where do I fit in?
    2 people liked this quote

  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Well, uh, they were--they were looking for you, these two guys, uh you know they--
    1 person liked this quote

  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    I'll say it again, you told Brandt on the phone. He told me. I know what happened. Yes? Yes?
    2 people liked this quote

  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Oh, so you know they were trying to piss on your rug?
    4 people liked this quote

  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Did I urinate on your rug?
    3 people liked this quote

  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    You mean, did you personally come and pee on my rug?
    5 people liked this quote

  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Hello! Do you speak English son? Parla usted ingles? I'll say it again. Did I urinate on your rug?
    7 people liked this quote

  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    No, like I said, Woo, peed on my rug.
    4 people liked this quote

  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    I just want to understand this sir, every time a rug is micturated upon in this fair city, I have to compensate the person?
    8 people liked this quote

  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Come on, man, I'm not trying to scam anybody here, uh, you know, I'm just, uh...
    1 person liked this quote

  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    You're just looking for a handout like every other--are you employed, Mr. Lebowski?
    4 people liked this quote

  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Huh? wait wait, let me, let me explain something to you. Uh, I am not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know, uh, That, or uh, his Dudeness, or uh Duder, or uh El Duderino, if, you know, you're not into the whole brevity thing... uh.
    9 people liked this quote

  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Are you employed, sir?
    3 people liked this quote

  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Employed? ah ha...
    2 people liked this quote

  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    You don't go out looking for a job dressed like that do ya? On a weekday?
    8 people liked this quote

  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Is this a--what day is this?
    4 people liked this quote

  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Well I do work sir, so if you don't mind--
    2 people liked this quote

  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Yeah, I do mind. The Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man. I mean, your wife owes money--
    5 people liked this quote

  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    My wife, is not the issue here! I hope that someday my wife will learn to live on her allowance, which is ample, but if she does not, that is her problem, not mine, just as your rug is your problem, just as every bum's lot in life is his own responsibility regardless of whom he chooses to blame. I didn't blame anyone for the loss of my legs, some Chinaman took them from me in Korea but I went out and achieved anyway. I cannot solve your problems, sir, only you can.
    8 people liked this quote

  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Ah fuck it.
    2 people liked this quote

  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Oh, Fuck it! Yes, that's your answer! That's your answer to everything! Tattoo it on your forehead!
    2 people liked this quote

  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    Your revolution is over, Mr. Lebowski! Condolences! The bums lost!
    2 people liked this quote

  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    ...My advice to you is, to do what your parents did! Get a job, sir! The bums will always lose-- do you hear me, Lebowski?
    2 people liked this quote

  • Jeffrey Lebowski
    THE BUMS WILL ALWAYS LOSE!
    3 people liked this quote

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