Wedding Crashers (2005)

Claire's Toast Scene 10

The following quotes are the direct screenplay transcript of Scene 10, "Claire's Toast", from the film Wedding Crashers.

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SCENE TRANSCRIPT
  • Secretary Cleary
    Well, the guy wants to run for president.
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  • Claire Cleary
    Oh, so you're hiding, I see.
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  • Secretary Cleary
    He thinks Moby Dick is a venereal disease. Well, that's what I need. Claire.
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  • Claire Cleary
    Sorry to interrupt. Christina wants to talk to you.
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  • John Beckwith
    Fun's over.
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  • Claire Cleary
    Yeah.
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  • Secretary Cleary
    Funny. Franklin!
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  • John Beckwith
    What a great guy.
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  • Claire Cleary
    You are a big hit at this wedding.
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  • John Beckwith
    Well, everyone's so nice. It's easy.
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  • Claire Cleary
    They're all full of shit.
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  • John Beckwith
    What?
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  • Claire Cleary
    Half of these people are here because of my dad. They're all just, you know, suckling at the power teat.
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  • John Beckwith
    No, no. Come on, they're here because they want to believe they're in the presence of true love. That's why people come to weddings. Because they wanna believe in true love.
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  • Claire Cleary
    What's true love?
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  • John Beckwith
    True love is your soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another.
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  • Claire Cleary
    Well, it's a little cheesy, but I like it.
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  • John Beckwith
    I saw it on a bumper sticker. So you gonna give a toast?
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  • Claire Cleary
    Yes.
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  • John Beckwith
    You nervous?
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  • Claire Cleary
    Mmm, little bit, um.
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  • John Beckwith
    What are you gonna say?
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  • Claire Cleary
    Would you...?
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  • John Beckwith
    You keep it in your cleavage.
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  • Claire Cleary
    Nowhere else to put it. Normally, I'm not very good at these things, but I think this one's pretty good.
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  • John Beckwith
    "I never thought my sister would find someone who cared about what other people thought as much as she did until I met Craig"?
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  • Claire Cleary
    Yes. That's funny. That's funny because it's true. You know, people like funny.
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  • John Beckwith
    I know. But the whole funny-because-it's-true bit only works if the truth is a small thing. Like, "Everyone knows Jennifer likes to shop, ha, ha, ha. " You're better off going with something from the heart honestly.
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  • Claire Cleary
    I think that people are gonna like this.
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  • John Beckwith
    I think you're gonna hear crickets.
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  • Claire Cleary
    I think you're wrong.
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  • John Beckwith
    Sounds of silence.
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  • Claire Cleary
    Nope.
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  • John Beckwith
    Okay, go walk the plank.
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  • Claire Cleary
    Mm-mm. I'm sticking to it.
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  • John Beckwith
    Go ahead. Hey, meet me at the back of the room. I'll be waiting to say, "I told you so. " Good luck.
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  • Best Man
    And so, after my ninth stint in rehab, um, Craig Oh, Craig. Craig was the only one who still believed in me. Been sober now for eight months. And, uh, I thank God every day... for sending me a friend like Craig. I love you, man.
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  • Claire Cleary
    I never thought my sister would find someone who cared about what other people thought as much as she did until I met Craig. Uh... As you all know, my sister and Craig are both lawyers... at big law firms in New York. But that's not the only thing they have in common. Um They both like the color green like Craig's eyes and money. Um, heh... You know, someone once told me that... true love is... the soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another. And I think that that's a very rare thing in this world. And I think it's something to be valued. And I'm just really happy that my big sister's found it. Congratulations, Chris.
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  • Christina Cleary
    Thank you.
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