Wedding Crashers (2005)

Todd and Jeremy in Bed Scene 24

The following quotes are the direct screenplay transcript of Scene 24, "Todd and Jeremy in Bed", from the film Wedding Crashers.

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SCENE TRANSCRIPT
  • Jeremy Grey
    What the fuck is going on?
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  • Gloria Cleary
    Shh. You'll wake my dad. Baby, I started thinking about what you said before and I think the problem is I am not being adventurous enough for you.
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  • Gloria Cleary
    Shh. Baby... I'm gonna make all your fantasies come true.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    But this is not a fant...
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  • Gloria Cleary
    I love you.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    Gloria, go to sleep, honey.
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  • Todd Cleary
    It's not Gloria.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    Jesus Christ.
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  • Todd Cleary
    We had a moment at the dinner table didn't we?
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  • Jeremy Grey
    We did not have a moment at the dinner table.
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  • Todd Cleary
    Yes. We had a moment.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    I was there. I would have noticed if there was a moment.
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  • Todd Cleary
    I made you a painting.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    What?
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  • Todd Cleary
    I call the painting "Celebration. " It's sexual and violent. I thought you might like it.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    No.
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  • Secretary Cleary
    Where's that coming from? You hear that?
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  • Jeremy Grey
    Hide! You gotta hide! Yes.
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  • Todd Cleary
    No. They need to know about us. It's okay.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    Hide, hide, hide! Please, please, please. Not there. Not there! I'm not comfortable... I'm not comfortable with that!
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  • Todd Cleary
    Let's play tummy sticks.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    What's tummy sticks? I don't want to play. Get in the closet.
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  • Todd Cleary
    It's okay, I was where you were a year ago.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    Get in the fucking closet right now. You go get in the closet! You go get in the closet! You go get in the closet! Go.
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  • Todd Cleary
    I'll pop out at the right moment.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    No, you will not.
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  • Secretary Cleary
    Everything okay in here? I thought I heard something.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    I was just having a bad dream.
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  • Secretary Cleary
    I know about bad dreams. You know, Todd... screams at night sometimes. You know, the doctors call it night terrors. I don't know. Okay, then. Sleep well.
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  • Todd Cleary
    There's nothing terrifying about the night.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    Now, listen, if you let me go to bed and get some sleep... then we can talk tomorrow.
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  • Todd Cleary
    You won't make time for me.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    If I get my sleep I'd love to make time and talk about, uh, different things. Like paintings. Can't wait for tomorrow, when I got energy and I can share stuff.
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  • Todd Cleary
    Okay.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    Okay. Oh, it's gonna be great.
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  • Todd Cleary
    You sleep.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    Okay. That was nice. That was nice. Please let me just sleep. I can't take this fucking shit anymore.
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