Wedding Crashers (2005)

Jeremy and the Priest Scene 36

The following quotes are the direct screenplay transcript of Scene 36, "Jeremy and the Priest", from the film Wedding Crashers.

Please click the favorite button below the quotes you like, to help us identify the best quotes from Wedding Crashers.

CHARACTERS IN SCENE 36

Enjoy this? Share it with friends!

SCENE TRANSCRIPT
  • Priest
    Hello, son. You okay?
    Be the first to like this quote

  • Jeremy Grey
    Not now, Father, please. No offense to you, I think we might be on different wavelengths. I think you'd just be spinning your wheels with me. But have a little of the sacrament here. No one likes to drink alone. We'll set you up. There you go, get your hands on it. Take it while it's hot. I'm gonna pour till it's on the tray. Here it is. Can I ask you a question, Father? You ever get horny? I'm sure you do. But I guess in your position, right? You're not allowed to... sleep with anybody, right?
    Be the first to like this quote

  • Priest
    No.
    Be the first to like this quote

  • Jeremy Grey
    Does that get tough sometimes? Do you ever pull on yourself or...? Everything works? Do you get swelled up still?
    Be the first to like this quote

  • Priest
    Yeah, of course.
    Be the first to like this quote

  • Jeremy Grey
    Well, what do you do?
    Be the first to like this quote

  • Priest
    You pray.
    Be the first to like this quote

  • Jeremy Grey
    Yeah, I pray too, you know what I mean? She's good. I mean, I believed that she was a virgin. It hurts to be lied to like that. It's a horrible feeling to feel that way. But I was looking to take advantage of something too. So could I really feel that bad? It's not like I was who I was. You know what I'm saying? So fair play. And let's be honest with each other here, okay? Let's put all the cards on the table. She's fit for a straitjacket. She's fucked three ways towards the weekend. And you wanna know what? I dig it. It turns me on. Yeah. It turns me on. Because you wanna know what the kicker is, Father? Maybe I'm a little fucking crazy. That's right. Maybe Jeremy's a little nuts. Maybe there's something about me that I'm a little cuckoo. I know it's a surprise. I know it's not on the surface. Man I had an imaginary friend when I was a kid. His name was Shilo. We used to play checkers with each other every day... and bless his heart, Shilo would always let me win. And that ain't normal. There's something odd in that. Maybe that's what it takes to make you feel connected to somebody. I don't know. I know when that redhead starts getting kooky... that something about me feels alive inside. I dig in talking with you. You're an enlightened cat... and I like that about you. I think you're a special, special man. Okay, come in here for the real thing. Get in here for the real thing.
    Be the first to like this quote

  • Priest
    Oh, oh.
    Be the first to like this quote

  • Jeremy Grey
    I love you. You're a sweet man.
    Be the first to like this quote

  • Priest
    Oh, dear God.
    Be the first to like this quote

Enjoy this? Share it with friends!