Wedding Crashers (2005)

John's Plan Scene 40

The following quotes are the direct screenplay transcript of Scene 40, "John's Plan", from the film Wedding Crashers.

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CHARACTERS IN SCENE 40

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SCENE TRANSCRIPT
  • Jeremy Grey
    Now bunch those panties up into a little ball. Put that little ball right in your mouth. Oh, that's good.
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  • John Beckwith
    Hang up the phone.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    Okay. And I will definitely call you back later then.
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  • John Beckwith
    Come on, wrap it up.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    Talk to you soon. Thank you, Larry. What the fuck? You can't knock anymore?
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  • John Beckwith
    I know how I can get to her.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    What?
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  • John Beckwith
    I know how I can get to Claire.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    Oh. John, you gotta drop this thing. I can't do this anymore with you, okay? It's been several months, and you haven't heard anything from her. She hasn't returned your phone calls, she's never responded to one of your letters. She didn't respond to the candy gram.
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  • John Beckwith
    Right.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    God knows what happened to the little kitten you got her. She didn't keep it and I know you're not raising that thing.
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  • John Beckwith
    Okay.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    I think it's very obvious... at this juncture that she just flat out does not wanna see you.
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  • John Beckwith
    I disagree. Now, look, they're having the engagement party for her tonight at the Burke's club. We're going at 7:30.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    I'm not g... John, I can't... Heh, heh, heh. Okay, okay, listen to me. Tasmanian devil. Listen to me. I can't go.
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  • John Beckwith
    Why?
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  • Jeremy Grey
    Because I can't go, because I have a schedule. Because I have...
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  • John Beckwith
    What is your deal? What is your problem? For the past couple months you've been a ghost. I can't find you in any place, and now I come to you with an idea put myself on the line, you shoot it down with negativity. Your goddamn negativity. I don't need it. I'm an idea man. I thrive on enthusiasm. Don't take the wind out of my sails. I need you.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    Buddy, you know I love you, and I hate to see you like this... but we gotta look at reality here. There's gonna be Secret Service. They have pictures of us. There's not a shot in hell we can get into this thing.
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  • John Beckwith
    You're so cautious. I'm more of a risk taker. I'm two steps ahead of you and 10 steps ahead of the Secret Service. Oh, yeah. 46 extra long, baba ganoush special. We're waiters.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    Buddy, for your own good, you gotta let this thing go.
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  • John Beckwith
    Now, I'm gonna meet you there at 7:30, okay?
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  • Jeremy Grey
    Okay.
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