Wedding Crashers (2005)

Erroneous! Scene 6

The following quotes are the direct screenplay transcript of Scene 6, "Erroneous!", from the film Wedding Crashers.

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CHARACTERS IN SCENE 6

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SCENE TRANSCRIPT
  • John Beckwith
    Oh, baba ganoush. What do we got?
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  • Jeremy Grey
    Christmas come early.
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  • John Beckwith
    Secretary Cleary?
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  • Jeremy Grey
    The Secretary of the treasury. The guy you loved since business school. Don't thank me. I don't know. I thought the season was over.
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  • John Beckwith
    I don't know. I thought the season was over. I was looking forward to taking a break for a little bit.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    John, what are you talking about? This is the Kentucky Derby of weddings. It's the Clearys. They're an American institution. Pal, there's gonna be over 200 single women at this wedding. Not to mention, they got three live bands... they got oysters, snacks, phenomenal finger food.
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  • John Beckwith
    I'm tired, okay? My feet hurt. My voice is hoarse.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    Oh, please don't take a turn to negative town.
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  • John Beckwith
    What are you talking about? Who's getting negative?
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  • Jeremy Grey
    At the Buckner nuptials you were sitting and sulking in the corner.
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  • John Beckwith
    I wasn't sulking. I twisted my ankle.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    Rule number 6: Do not sit in the corner and sulk. It draws attention to you in a negative way. Draw attention to yourself, but on your own terms.
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  • John Beckwith
    Please don't quote the rules to me, I know them.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    When Chazz Reinhold passed the sacred rules of wedding crashing onto us... 12 years ago, he gave us a legacy.
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  • John Beckwith
    You make it sound like a cult okay? From everything you told me about him, he sounds like a kook.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    You bite your tongue. Chazz Reinhold is not a kook. He is a brave and a decent man. He is a pioneer.
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  • John Beckwith
    He lived with his mother till he was 40. She tried to poison his oatmeal.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    Erroneous! Erroneous. Erroneous on both counts.
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  • John Beckwith
    Oh, Lord. Here we go again.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    What you should be worried about... is not Chazz Reinhold, who's in the hall of fame. What you should be worried about is you're getting sloppy. Now, if you sit there and expect me to go out on a limb and try to pull off the greatest crash of all time I gotta know that your head's right. There is no room for error. Secret Service. Consequences.
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  • John Beckwith
    I love your enthusiasm. If I do this, I don't wanna half-ass it. I want it well planned.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    He's back. All right, partner. We'll start scheming tonight, okay?
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  • John Beckwith
    Sounds good.
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  • Jeremy Grey
    If you need me, I'll be on line six.
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  • John Beckwith
    Okay. Could be fun.
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