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The Coup (2006)

The Office

How does that qualify him to run a branch? Scene 11

The following quotes are the direct screenplay transcript of the scene "How does that qualify him to run a branch?", from The Coup.

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SCENE TRANSCRIPT
  • Michael Scott
    Dwight, can I talk to you for a second? [exhales]
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  • Michael Scott
    Wow, this is tough! Brrrrr!
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  • Dwight Schrute
    What?
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  • Michael Scott
    Oh. [inhales] Aaaarg!
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  • Dwight Schrute
    What is it?
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  • Michael Scott
    Well... I just got off the phone with Jan. And, um... She demoted me.
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  • Dwight Schrute
    No.
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  • Michael Scott
    Yeah.
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  • Michael Scott
    You know what the craziest part of this is? She demoted me to your job. And she said that you should be expecting a call later from corporate. And that, um... I guess that means that you are going to be acting manager of Dunder-Mifflin, Scranton.
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  • Dwight Schrute
    I can't believe this news. That...wow.
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  • Michael Scott
    Yeah. I told her I didn't know whether you'd wanna do it. Because you've always been so loyal to me. You've been my most trusted ally.
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  • Dwight Schrute
    You said that?
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  • Michael Scott
    Yep, I did. I did. But I think... you should do it.
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  • Dwight Schrute
    Well... Gosh, if you think I should... then I will.
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  • Michael Scott
    Perfect. Well, we're settled.
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  • Michael Scott
    All right. Well, then you are now acting manager of Dunder-Mifflin, Scranton branch. And I am assistant regional manager.
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  • Dwight Schrute
    Assistant to the regional manager.
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  • Dwight Schrute
    Thank you, Michael, for staying on. I really appreciate it. Hey, hey. I can't imagine this place without you.
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  • Michael Scott
    Can't you? That's so nice. [exhales] Well, um... I guess we should go tell the troops.
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  • Dwight Schrute
    Yeah, when I'm ready, Mike. Okay, let's do it. Hey. Hi, hello. Everybody, I have some good news. And I have some bad news.
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  • Michael Scott
    I am being replaced as your leader by Dwight.
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  • Stanley Hudson
    You're kidding.
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  • Michael Scott
    You might think that I am kidding, and I understand that.
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  • Angela Martin
    Congratulations, Dwight.
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  • Dwight Schrute
    Thank you, Angela.
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  • Stanley Hudson
    But why Dwight?
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  • Michael Scott
    Because Dwight never lies.
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  • Stanley Hudson
    How does that qualify him to run a branch?
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  • Michael Scott
    Because that's all it takes. Okay, Dwight, would you like to say a few words to everybody about loyalty?
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  • Dwight Schrute
    Thank you, Michael. I just wanna say to the few of you who will remain under my employ, that I intend to lead you into the black with ferocity.
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  • Phyllis Vance
    Michael, what will you do? Oh, I'll be fine.
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  • Kevin Malone
    Do you have any savings?
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  • Michael Scott
    No, no, I don't.
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  • Kevin Malone
    Michael, you might lose your condo.
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  • Michael Scott
    I won't. I won't.
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  • Pam Beesly
    I have this old vacuum cleaner that's broken. If Dwight doesn't work out, maybe that could be manager.
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  • Phyllis Vance
    [to camera] Maybe I'll quit.
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