Deadpool (2016)

Top Quotes from Deadpool

The following quotes have been voted by you, the visitors of our site, as the most liked quotes from the film Deadpool.

Whether that makes these lines the funniest Deadpool quotes, the most dramatic Deadpool quotes, or simply the overall most awesome Deadpool quotes, they've been guaranteed to be the best by you, the audience. Nice work!

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Best Deadpool Lines
  • Weasel
    No. You look like an avocado had sex with an older, more disgusting avocado.
    25 people liked this quote
    From the scene Disgusting Avocado

  • Weasel
    Not gently. Like it was hate-fucking. There was something wrong with the relationship... and that was the only catharsis that they could find without violence.
    18 people liked this quote
    From the scene Disgusting Avocado

  • Weasel
    Star in your own horror films. Because you look like Freddy Krueger face-fucked a topographical map of Utah.
    14 people liked this quote
    From the scene Disgusting Avocado

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    Fellas! Hey! Hey! You only work for that shit-spackled muppet fart. So, I'mma give you a chancefor y'all to lay down your firearms... in exchange for preferential,bordering on gentle... possibly even lover-like treatment. Fine. Commando! Teabag! Bob?
    14 people liked this quote
    From the scene Never Gonna Dance Again

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    I told you, we're going with the Urvaj, not the Borje. Get it through your head or get out of fuck town.
    13 people liked this quote
    From the scene I Need All the Guns

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    Time to make the chimi-fuckin'-changas. Not often a dude ruins your face... skull-stomps your sanity, grabs your future baby mama... and personally sees to four of your five shittiest moments. Let's just say it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
    12 people liked this quote
    From the scene Never Gonna Dance Again

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    I did not tell him to do that. Absolutely not. It got lost in translation. Dopinder, this is no way to win Gita's heart back! I'm so proud of you. Drop Bandhu off,safe and gentle-like. Kill him. And then, win Gita back... the old fashioned way: with your boyish charm. Kidnap her.
    9 people liked this quote
    From the scene Cocoon is Pure Pornography

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    No, no, no. Wham! Make It Big is the album that George and Andy earned the exclamation point.
    8 people liked this quote
    From the scene Wham!

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    Looks are everything. You ever heard David Beckham speak? It's like he mouth-sexed a can of helium. You think Ryan Reynolds got this far on his superior acting method?
    8 people liked this quote
    From the scene Looks Are Everything

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    I live in a crackhouse. With a family of 12. Every night we spoon for warmth. Everybody fights for Noelle. She's the fattest. There's nothing that we don't share. Floor space, dental floss, even condoms.
    8 people liked this quote
    From the scene Never Gonna Dance Again

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    I will shoot your fucking cat!
    7 people liked this quote
    From the scene Kitty Litter

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    Soft spot, remember? You even look in her general direction again... and you will learn in the worst of ways that I have some hard spots too. That came out wrong. Or did it?
    7 people liked this quote
    From the scene Kitty Litter

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    Now, if I were a 200-pound sack of assholes named Francis, where would I hide? Oh. A hush falls over the crowd as rookie sensation Wade W. Wilson... out of Regina, Saskatchewan, lines up the shot. His form looks good. Oh! And that's why Regina rhymes with fun. Ladies and gentlemen, what you're witnessing... is sweet dick-kicking revenge. Oh! Giving him the business. Incoming! This is taking unsportsmanlike conduct to a whole new level! Looking good, Francis. Well rested. Like you've been pitching, not catching. Ringing any bells? No? How about now?
    7 people liked this quote
    From the scene Hello, Gorgeous

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    Yeah, it's right next to the prostate. Or is that the on switch?
    7 people liked this quote
    From the scene Big Chrome Cock-Gobbler

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    Not out of the woods yet. You need to seriously ease up on the bedazzling. They're jeans, not a chandelier. P.S. I'm keeping your wallet. You did kinda give it to me.
    6 people liked this quote
    From the scene Kitty Litter

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    Oh, there's the money shot, baby. Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret. Rock, meet bottom. And when life ends up breathtakingly fucked... you can generally trace it back to one big, bad decision. The one that sent you down the road to Shitsburgh. This? Well, this was mine.
    6 people liked this quote
    From the scene Big Chrome Cock-Gobbler

  • Weasel
    To you, Mr. Pool. Deadpool. That sounds like a fucking franchise.
    6 people liked this quote
    From the scene Disgusting Avocado

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    Her. Fourth-wall break inside a fourth-wall break. That's like 16 walls. She's like Robin to my Batman, except she's old, and black, and blind. And I think she's in love with me. Wait, pretty sure Robin loves Batman, too. Al? Morning, sleepyhead. Ugh! It smells like old lady pants in here.
    6 people liked this quote
    From the scene God I Miss Cocaine

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    I need all the guns!
    6 people liked this quote
    From the scene I Need All the Guns

  • Dopinder
    And a convivial Tuesday in April to you too, Pool!
    5 people liked this quote
    From the scene 12 Bullets

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    Then whose kitty litter did I just shit in? Anyhoo, tell me something... what situation isn't improved by pizza? Do you happen to know a Meghan Orflosky? Getting that right? Orflosky? Orlovsky? Yeah? Good. Because she knows you. Jeremy, I belong to a group of guys who take a dime to beat a fella down. And little Meghan, she's not made of money, but lucky for her... I got a soft spot.
    5 people liked this quote
    From the scene Kitty Litter

  • Vanessa
    Just ride a bitch's back, like Yoda on Luke.
    5 people liked this quote
    From the scene Between the Holidays

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    You big chrome cock-gobbler!
    5 people liked this quote
    From the scene Big Chrome Cock-Gobbler

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    You're really gonna fuck this up for me? Trust me, that wheezing bag of dick-tips has it coming. He's pure evil. Besides... Nobody's getting hurt. That guy was already up there when I got here.
    5 people liked this quote
    From the scene Big Chrome Cock-Gobbler

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    Cock shot! Oh, your poor wife.
    5 people liked this quote
    From the scene Big Chrome Cock-Gobbler

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