Deadpool (2016)

Top Quotes from Deadpool

The following quotes have been voted by you, the visitors of our site, as the most liked quotes from the film Deadpool.

Whether that makes these lines the funniest Deadpool quotes, the most dramatic Deadpool quotes, or simply the overall most awesome Deadpool quotes, they've been guaranteed to be the best by you, the audience. Nice work!

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Best Deadpool Lines
  • Weasel
    No. You look like an avocado had sex with an older, more disgusting avocado.
    16 people liked this quote
    From the scene Disgusting Avocado

  • Weasel
    Not gently. Like it was hate-fucking. There was something wrong with the relationship... and that was the only catharsis that they could find without violence.
    11 people liked this quote
    From the scene Disgusting Avocado

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    I told you, we're going with the Urvaj, not the Borje. Get it through your head or get out of fuck town.
    11 people liked this quote
    From the scene I Need All the Guns

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    Fellas! Hey! Hey! You only work for that shit-spackled muppet fart. So, I'mma give you a chancefor y'all to lay down your firearms... in exchange for preferential,bordering on gentle... possibly even lover-like treatment. Fine. Commando! Teabag! Bob?
    7 people liked this quote
    From the scene Never Gonna Dance Again

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    Soft spot, remember? You even look in her general direction again... and you will learn in the worst of ways that I have some hard spots too. That came out wrong. Or did it?
    6 people liked this quote
    From the scene Kitty Litter

  • Weasel
    Star in your own horror films. Because you look like Freddy Krueger face-fucked a topographical map of Utah.
    6 people liked this quote
    From the scene Disgusting Avocado

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    I did not tell him to do that. Absolutely not. It got lost in translation. Dopinder, this is no way to win Gita's heart back! I'm so proud of you. Drop Bandhu off,safe and gentle-like. Kill him. And then, win Gita back... the old fashioned way: with your boyish charm. Kidnap her.
    6 people liked this quote
    From the scene Cocoon is Pure Pornography

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    I live in a crackhouse. With a family of 12. Every night we spoon for warmth. Everybody fights for Noelle. She's the fattest. There's nothing that we don't share. Floor space, dental floss, even condoms.
    6 people liked this quote
    From the scene Never Gonna Dance Again

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    I will shoot your fucking cat!
    5 people liked this quote
    From the scene Kitty Litter

  • Angel
    Oh, you smell like shit. Whoa! Motherfucker.
    5 people liked this quote
    From the scene Super-Slaves

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    Time to make the chimi-fuckin'-changas. Not often a dude ruins your face... skull-stomps your sanity, grabs your future baby mama... and personally sees to four of your five shittiest moments. Let's just say it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
    5 people liked this quote
    From the scene Never Gonna Dance Again

  • Dopinder
    And a convivial Tuesday in April to you too, Pool!
    4 people liked this quote
    From the scene 12 Bullets

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    Cock shot. Ha! Rich Corinthian leather. I'm looking for Francis! Have you seen this man? Yanky, yanky! I've never said this, but don't swallow. Shit. Did I leave the stove on?
    4 people liked this quote
    From the scene Polverine

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    Not out of the woods yet. You need to seriously ease up on the bedazzling. They're jeans, not a chandelier. P.S. I'm keeping your wallet. You did kinda give it to me.
    4 people liked this quote
    From the scene Kitty Litter

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    You big chrome cock-gobbler!
    4 people liked this quote
    From the scene Big Chrome Cock-Gobbler

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    You're really gonna fuck this up for me? Trust me, that wheezing bag of dick-tips has it coming. He's pure evil. Besides... Nobody's getting hurt. That guy was already up there when I got here.
    4 people liked this quote
    From the scene Big Chrome Cock-Gobbler

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    Looks are everything. You ever heard David Beckham speak? It's like he mouth-sexed a can of helium. You think Ryan Reynolds got this far on his superior acting method?
    4 people liked this quote
    From the scene Looks Are Everything

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    I need all the guns!
    4 people liked this quote
    From the scene I Need All the Guns

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    Uh... Listen, Al... if I never see you again, I want you to know that I love you very much. And also, uh, there's about 116 kilos of cocaine buried somewhere in the apartment... right next to the cure for blindness. Good luck.
    4 people liked this quote
    From the scene I Need All the Guns

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    Like two hobos fucking in a shoe filled with piss. Okay, enough. I can go all day, Dopinder. The point is, it's bad!
    3 people liked this quote
    From the scene It's Christmas Day

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    Shit. Motherfucker! 10! Shit! 9. Fuck. Eight. Shit-fuck! Bad Deadpool. Seven. Good Deadpool. Oh! Someone's not counting. Six. Oh! Four... Gotcha. Right up main street. Three, two! Stupid! Worth it. Ah! I'm touching myself tonight.
    3 people liked this quote
    From the scene Red Suit, Brown Pants

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    Then whose kitty litter did I just shit in? Anyhoo, tell me something... what situation isn't improved by pizza? Do you happen to know a Meghan Orflosky? Getting that right? Orflosky? Orlovsky? Yeah? Good. Because she knows you. Jeremy, I belong to a group of guys who take a dime to beat a fella down. And little Meghan, she's not made of money, but lucky for her... I got a soft spot.
    3 people liked this quote
    From the scene Kitty Litter

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    You had a dishwasher. I didn't even know sleep. It was pretty much 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn.
    3 people liked this quote
    From the scene Patron Saint of the Pitiful

  • Deadpool (Wade)
    Hopefully you, later tonight? Hey, what can I get for, uh, $275 and a... a Yogurtland rewards card?
    3 people liked this quote
    From the scene Patron Saint of the Pitiful

  • Weasel
    Did she just put a gift card in your mouth?
    3 people liked this quote
    From the scene Patron Saint of the Pitiful

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