Zoolander (2001)

Derek Zoolander
Well, I guess I would have to answer your question with another question. How many "abo-digitals" do you see modeling?
From the scene The Award Show

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Derek Zoolander
Rufus, Brint and Meekus were like brothers to me. And when I say brother, I don't mean like an actual brother, but I mean it like the way black people use it, which is more meaningful, I think. If there's anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it's that a male model's life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs, and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident. So today, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to take this opportunity, to announce my...
From the scene Derek's Retirement

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Hansel
All right, come on, over here. Hey, Ennui, will you do me a favor? Will you get me some of that tea that me and Lapsang got, when we were free climbing the Mayan ruins?
From the scene The Threesome

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Reporter
And here in Malaysia, there is an almost overwhelming sense of euphoria, as the newly-elected prime minister has given this impoverished nation the gift of hope, promising to raise the substandard minimum wage and end child labor once and for all. Already considered a living saint, he has become this small country's greatest hope, for a thriving future in the new millennium.
From the scene Evil Plotting Designers

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Jacobim Mugatu
What? No, I don't have time for this.
From the scene Evil Plotting Designers

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Matilda
Derek, I just have a few more questions, if that's okay.
From the scene Zoolander's Looks

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Hansel
I hear a lot of words like "beauty" and "handsomeness" and "incredibly chiseled features." To me, that's like a vanity, a self-absorption, that I try to steer clear of. I dig the bungee. For me, it's just the way I live my life. I grip it and I rip it. I live it with a lot of flair. I live it on the edge, where I gotta be. I wasn't like every other kid, who dreams about being an astronaut. I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music that he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot. I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot.
From the scene The Award Show

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Jacobim Mugatu
I think we've found our solution, Ballstein.
From the scene The Award Show

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Jacobim Mugatu
Oh, I'm sorry. Did my pin get in the way of your ass? Do me a favor and lose five pounds immediately, or get out of my building like now! Get out! I'm so tired! No, Todd, not now!
From the scene Lose Five Pounds Immediately

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Derek Zoolander
Merman. Merman! Who am I?
From the scene Merman, Not Mermaid

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David Bowie
If nobody has any objections, I believe I might be of service. Now, this'll be a straight walk-off, old school rules. First model walks, second model duplicates, then elaborates. Okay, boys, let's go to work.
From the scene I'm Going Monk

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Derek Zoolander
Vin Correjo. "Derriere Extraordinaire." 92 minus 63. None of them ever made it past 30.
From the scene The Greatest Hand Model

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Derek Zoolander
I know that hand. It was in the fall 1973 Bulova watch catalogue. You're J. P. Prewitt. The world's greatest hand model.
From the scene The Greatest Hand Model

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Derek Zoolander
Good point.
From the scene The Greatest Hand Model

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Derek Zoolander
But why male models?
From the scene The Greatest Hand Model

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Prewitt
Are you serious? I just... l just told you that a moment ago.
From the scene The Greatest Hand Model

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Hansel
Don't ask questions. Just give in to the power of the tea.
From the scene The Threesome

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Maury Ballstein
That's what I'm talking about!
From the scene School Commercial

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Giorgio
Get closer, Jaco. This is disgusting. How could you let this happen?
From the scene Evil Plotting Designers

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Jacobim Mugatu
I have negotiated my butt off, Giorgio. I've tried bribes, I've tried gifts. I even sent him some pet oxen. I mean, they love that crap in Malaysia, but he won't budge.
From the scene Evil Plotting Designers

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Unknown Man
Or cookie dough.
From the scene Evil Plotting Designers

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Giorgio
And when he's finished, we'll dispose of him.
From the scene Evil Plotting Designers

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Matilda
So when did you know you wanted to be a model?
From the scene Zoolander's Looks

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Derek Zoolander
Well, I guess the look I'm best known for is Blue Steel.
From the scene Zoolander's Looks

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Matilda
What's that look like? That's impressive.
From the scene Zoolander's Looks

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