Characters in This Scene
Agent Smith
Jed Rees
Deadpool (Wade)
Ryan Reynolds
Ajax (Francis)
Ed Skrein
Angel
Gina Carano
Super-Slaves Full Transcript
Agent Smith
Mr. Wilson. Nothing warms my heart more than a change of someone else's. You finally hit "fuck it."
Deadpool (Wade)
Just promise you'll do right by me. So I can do right by someone else.
Agent Smith
Of course.
Deadpool (Wade)
And please don't make the super-suit green. Or animated.
Unknown Guy
Move it! Keep moving.
Deadpool (Wade)
This place seems sanitary. My first request is warmer hands. Oh! And, Jesus, a warmer table. We should really come up with a safe word, fellas. I'm thinking "pork and beans." Woah! Easy. Aren't you a little strong for a lady? I'm calling wang. What's up with the matches? Oral fixation or just a big Stallone fan?
Ajax (Francis)
Patience, Angel. All in good time.
Deadpool (Wade)
Are you here for the turndown service, or what?
Ajax (Francis)
We have another talker.
Deadpool (Wade)
I'm just excited about my first day at superhero camp.
Angel
Shut the fuck up.
Ajax (Francis)
Mr. Wilson, my name's Ajax. I manage this workshop. Ah, my welcome speech used to be full of euphemisms like... "This may hurt a little." "This may cause you some discomfort." But I've grown blunt. This workshop is not a government-led program. It's a private institution that turns reclamation projects like yourself... into men of extraordinary abilities. But if you think super-human powers are acquired painlessly... Wrong. I'm injecting you with a serum... that activates any mutant genes lurking in your DNA. For it to work we need to subject you to extreme stress. You've heard that whole "make an omelet, break some eggs" bit, right? I'm about to hurt you, Wade. I was a patient here once myself, you know. The treatment affects everyone differently. It made Angel inhumanly strong. In my case, it enhanced my reflexes. Also scorched my nerve endings, so I no longer feel pain. And, in fact, I no longer feel anything.
Deadpool (Wade)
Thanks! Thank you. Thank you. You have something in your teeth. Right in the middle there. Just, I don't... A little nugget of romaine lettuce or something. It's been bothering me for a long time. Ah, made you look. Hey, is Ajax your actual name? Because it sounds suspiciously made up. What is it, really? Kevin? Bruce? Scott? Mitch? The Rickster? Is it Basil Fawlty?
Ajax (Francis)
Oh, joke away. One thing that never survives this place is a sense of humor.
Deadpool (Wade)
We'll see about that.
Ajax (Francis)
I suppose we will. He's all yours.
Deadpool (Wade)
Oh, come on. You're gonna leave me all alone here. With less-angry Rosie O'Donnell?
Ajax (Francis)
This is how it's going to work. Adrenaline acts as a catalyst for the serum... so we're going to have to make you suffer. If you're lucky, the mutant genes will activate and manifest in a spectacular fashion. If not, well, we'll have to keep on hurting you... in new and different ways, ach more painful than the last... until you finally mutate. Or die.
Cunningham
You mean a bucket list?
Deadpool (Wade)
Like a fuck-it list. I'd really like to light a spliff off the Olympic torch.
Cunningham
Pass it to me right after.
Deadpool (Wade)
Let's not forget naked tandem base-jumping with the WNBA's Sacramento Monarchs.
Cunningham
Anything on my bucket list would involve public nudity.
Deadpool (Wade)
Finally, giving Meredith Baxter-Birney a Dutch oven.
Cunningham
No. Receiving a Dutch oven from Meredith Baxter-Birney. Making banana pancakes for my kids.
Deadpool (Wade)
Vanessa. I wanna see Vanessa.
Ajax (Francis)
You're lovely. I don't know about anyone else, but I'm touched.
Cunningham
We were just joking.
Ajax (Francis)
No, no. It's okay. I encourage distractions. Wouldn't want you giving up on us, now would we?
Deadpool (Wade)
Hey, don't take any shit from him, Cunningham. How tough can he be... with a name like Francis?
Cunningham
Francis?
Deadpool (Wade)
That's his legal name. He got "Ajax" from the dish soap. F, R, A, N, C, I... Oops! Snagged the dry cleaning tag off your lab coat. FYI, I could probably get you the superhero discount.
Ajax (Francis)
You are so relentlessly annoying.
Deadpool (Wade)
Thanks. Never heard that before.
Ajax (Francis)
Why don't you do us all a favor and shut the fuck up? Or I'll sew your pretty mouth shut.
Deadpool (Wade)
Oh... I wouldn't do that if I were you. See, here's the problem with round-the-clock torture... is that you can't really step it up from there.
Ajax (Francis)
Is that what you think? If this doesn't unlock your mutation, then, well... nothing will. Now, what we're going to do is lower the oxygen concentration in the air... to the exact point you feel like you're suffocating. If your brainwaves slow, meaning you're about to pass out... then we'll turn up the O2. If your heart rate slows... meaning you're able to catch your breath... we'll turn it back down. And that's where we'll leave you. Right there.
Deadpool (Wade)
Oh, and I thought you guys were dicks before.
Ajax (Francis)
You know the funniest part of this? You still think we're making you a superhero. You. A dishonorable discharge. Hip-deep in hookers.
Deadpool (Wade)
You're nothing.
Ajax (Francis)
Little secret, Wade. This workshop doesn't make superheroes, we make super-slaves. We're gonna fit you with a control collar and auction you off to the highest bidder. Who knows what they'll have you doing? Terrorizing citizens, putting down freedom fighters. Maybe just mow the occasional lawn.
Deadpool (Wade)
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Ajax (Francis)
You're never going home after this. Now there's a brave face.
Deadpool (Wade)
Wait, wait! Wait. Wait. Seriously, you actually have something in your teeth now. Enjoy your weekend.
Ajax (Francis)
Enjoy your weekend.
Deadpool (Wade)
"Weekend"? Back Weekend?
Deadpool (Wade)
Did I say this was a love story? No, it's a horror movie.
Ajax (Francis)
Fucking hell. Looks like someone lost his shot at Homecoming King.
Deadpool (Wade)
What have you done to me?
Ajax (Francis)
I've merely raised your stress levels high enough to trigger a mutation.
Deadpool (Wade)
You sadistic fuck!
Ajax (Francis)
I've cured you, Wade. Now your mutated cells can heal anything. It's attacking your cancer as fast as it can form. Yeah, I've seen similar side-effects before. I could cure them... but where's the fun in that? Now, I'm gonna shut you in again, Wade. Not because I need to. Because I want to. Oh, well. Go ahead.
Angel
Oh, you smell like shit. Whoa! Motherfucker.
Ajax (Francis)
Hey, hey, hey. It's all right, it's all right. I think we owe him that one, yeah? You take off. Go on. Off you go. Quick question. What's my name? Didn't think so.
Deadpool (Wade)
Sorry, Francis. My lips are sealed.
Ajax (Francis)
You don't want to kill me. I'm the only one who can fix your ugly mug. What's my name?
Cunningham
Wade.
Deadpool (Wade)
I didn't just get the cure to el cancer... I got the cure to el everything. But there was only one thing... that really mattered.