An Old Boyfriend Full Transcript
Deadpool (Wade)
Ah, I can't believe I'm doing this. Is there a word for half afraid, half angry?
Weasel
Yeah, "afrangry", I guess. Have you decided what you're gonna say to her?
Deadpool (Wade)
Fuck me!
Weasel
Uh, maybe not start with that.
Announcer
Hey, coming onto our stage right now... give it up for Chastity!
Weasel
Or as I liketo call her, Irony.
Deadpool (Wade)
Better find her fast before numbnuts does.
Weasel
How do you know she's in here?
Deadpool (Wade)
Because I'm constantly stalking that fox.
Deadpool (Wade)
Every time I see her, it's like the first time... Especially from this angle.
Announcer
You can't buy love, but you can rent it for three minutes.
Deadpool (Wade)
Ah, you weak motherfucker! Come on! Come on, get it together. This isn't about me, this is about Vanessa. Here we go. Maximum effort.
Boss
Vanessa. Someone out back asking for you. Something about, uh, an old boyfriend.
Vanessa
I knew it was you. The weird, curvy edges. Like a jigsaw puzzle.
Ajax (Francis)
You have Wade Wilson to thank for this.
Deadpool (Wade)
Hey. Hey! Where'd she go?
Weasel
Uh, I saw her head to the back. Go get her, tiger.
Deadpool (Wade)
Fuck. Fuck! Mother...