Zoolander

Obey My Dog

Zoolander
About Zoolander
  • Released in 2001
  • Directed by Ben Stiller
  • Produced by Paramount Pictures
Characters in This Scene
Derek Zoolander
Ben Stiller
Katinka
Milla Jovovich
Therapist
Matilda
Christine Taylor
Jacobim Mugatu
Will Ferrell
Obey My Dog Full Transcript
Derek Zoolander
What kind of spa is this?
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Katinka
It's designed for deep, deep relaxation. Come, let's get you loosened up.
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Therapist
Good boy. Good boy. Good boy.
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Matilda
Oh! I'm sorry. Derek?
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Derek Zoolander
Matilda, what are you doing here?
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Matilda
I was... Uh. Uhh. What are you doing here, Derek? I thought you quit the business.
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Derek Zoolander
Haven't you heard? I'm the new face of Mugatu's Derelicte campaign.
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Matilda
What do you mean, Derek? You said Mugatu never hires you.
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Derek Zoolander
Well, I guess he changed his mind. It's only the biggest campaign in the world. Ever.
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Katinka
What is this? Who are you? This is private property. Nils! I suggest you and your Kmart Jaclyn Smith Collection outfit, stay the hell away from Derek Zoolander. How do you feel, Derek?
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Derek Zoolander
Uh. Okay. When's the seaweed wrap?
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Katinka
You shut up now. I want you to relax and breathe deeply. Breathe deeply.
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Derek Zoolander
I like this song.
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Katinka
Of course you do.
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Jacobim Mugatu
Hello, Derek.
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Derek Zoolander
Hello.
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Jacobim Mugatu
Welcome to your relaxation time. Let this wonderful '80s classic soothe you. Just a nice, warm, happy time. Happy, happy, happy. Nothing to worry about at all. Just relax. Hey there, Derek. My name is Lit' Keatus. I'm just a kid who wants you to know the real truth about child labor laws. Okay?
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Derek Zoolander
Okay.
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Jacobim Mugatu
They're silly and outdated. In the good old days, kids as young as five could work as they pleased, from textile factories to iron smelts. Yippee! Hooray! But today, the age-old right of children to work is under attack. From the Philippines to Bangladesh, in China and India, and South America, too. But you can help these children, Derek, by killing the prime minister of Malaysia. He is bad.
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Derek Zoolander
What?
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Jacobim Mugatu
You learn martial arts. Prime minister of Malaysia bad! Martial arts good! Kill naughty man! Kill naughty man! Kill naughty man! Obey my dog! On the runway, you have one objective. Do not be distracted by the beautiful celebrities. Do as you've been trained to do and kill the Malaysian prime minister! Karate chop! Bad, man! Awful man! In your little blue suit and your spiky black hair. Kill! You're a super-hot ninja machine!
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