Characters in This Scene
Derek Zoolander
Ben Stiller
Matilda
Christine Taylor
Katinka
Milla Jovovich
1200 Messages Full Transcript
Derek Zoolander
Aggghhhhh! Ouch!
Matilda
Derek, are you in there?
Derek Zoolander
Hold your horses!
Matilda
Derek, please open the door!
Derek Zoolander
What a cuckoo dream.
Matilda
Derek!
Derek Zoolander
What?
Matilda
Hey, are you okay? I've been trying to reach you for a week.
Derek Zoolander
A week? What, are you having a whack attack? I saw you this afternoon, dum-dum.
Matilda
That was last Friday.
Derek Zoolander
Earth to Matilda. I was at a day spa. Day. D-A-I-Y-E. Okay? Look, I think I know what this is about, and I'm very complimented, but not interested.
Matilda
What?
Derek Zoolander
I can't sleep with you, okay? My head is killing me and...
Matilda
What are you talking about?
Derek Zoolander
Okay, if you just want to fool around a little bit...
Matilda
Hey, I don't want to sleep with you! I've been trying to tell you you've been missing for a week. Would you look at the date. Mugatu's Derelicte show is tomorrow night.
Derek Zoolander
I don't care what the date says.
Machine
You have 1,200 messages.
Derek Zoolander
That is a bit above average.
Matilda
Derek, what happened in that spa?
Derek Zoolander
I don't know. People who need help. A little massage, some aromatherapy. I mean, look, lady, you can't just come barging into people's lofts, wanting sex, then changing your mind, then telling them that they've been in a day spa for a week.
Matilda
You have been in a day spa for a week.
Derek Zoolander
So what? Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you, and your "do whatever it takes, ruin as many people's lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as a investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose, or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose, or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way"?
Matilda
Derek, I told you I was sorry about that article.
Derek Zoolander
Enough! My head hurts! And if it indeed is what day you claim it is, I have a pre-runway party to attend, if you'll excuse me. By the way...
Matilda
What?
Derek Zoolander
With your complexion, you really shouldn't be wearing your hair pulled back that tight.
Matilda
What are you talking about?
Derek Zoolander
It pulls back the skin on your forehead, creating a tension which clogs the pores. That's why you have some light pattern dryness around your scalp. Do you mind? Cool.
Katinka
l do not like snoopy reporter with lack of fashion sense. Not one little bit.