Zoolander

Han Suckass

Zoolander
About Zoolander
  • Released in 2001
  • Directed by Ben Stiller
  • Produced by Paramount Pictures
Characters in This Scene
Derek Zoolander
Ben Stiller
Matilda
Christine Taylor
Unknown Man
Han Suckass Full Transcript
Derek Zoolander
What's going on?
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Matilda
I think Katinka wants to kill you.
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Derek Zoolander
Good. I deserve to die if I can't beat Han-suck-ass in a walk-off.
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Matilda
Derek, that's not true. The guy had to miraculously pull his underwear out of his butt just to beat you.
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Derek Zoolander
And all he had to do was turn left.
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Matilda
What do you mean?
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Derek Zoolander
I'm not an ambi-turner. It's a problem I had since I was a baby. I can't turn left.
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Matilda
Derek, that's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who can't turn... I mean, there have got to be some people out there, just like you, who can't turn... Turn left. Hello.
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Unknown Man
If you want answers, come to Saint Adonis Cemetery now.
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Matilda
Wait! Wait! Wait! Who are you?
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Derek Zoolander
Who was that?
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Matilda
I'm not sure. I have to get to Saint Adonis Cemetery. Listen, I'm gonna take you to my apartment, okay? You can stay there until I get back.
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Derek Zoolander
Can I come with? I don't want to be alone tonight.
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