Characters in This Scene
Derek Zoolander
Ben Stiller
Maury Ballstein
Jerry Stiller
Hansel
Owen Wilson
Matilda
Christine Taylor
School Commercial Full Transcript
Derek Zoolander
Hi, I'm former male supermodel Derek Zoolander. And here at the Derek Zoolander Centre for Kids Who Can't Read Good, and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good, Too, we teach students of all ages, everything they need to know to learn to be a professional model and a professional human being. Our diverse faculty includes business management teacher, and former model agent Maury Ballstein.
Maury Ballstein
The designer's got your nuts in a vice, offering you ten million plus three percent, of every pair of underwear sold. What are you gonna do?
Students
Screw him! Hold out for more!
Maury Ballstein
That's what I'm talking about!
Derek Zoolander
So join now, because at the Derek Zoolander Centre for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good, Too, we teach you that there's more to life, than just being really, really, really good-looking. Right, kids?
Students
Right!
Mitch
And cut! Looks great. I think we got it.
Derek Zoolander
All right, Mitch. Thanks.
Mitch
All right, everybody! That's a wrap!
Derek Zoolander
Hey, Hansel.
Hansel
Hey, D-Rock, I'm gonna take these kids over to the George Washington Bridge, give them a little lesson in base jumping. I'll catch you in the teacher's lounge later on?
Derek Zoolander
All right.
Hansel
All right, guys. Last one to the helicopter's a rotten egg. Let's go!
Derek Zoolander
Hey, Matilda!
Matilda
There's Daddy! Hi.
Derek Zoolander
Hey. How's Derek Jr.?
Matilda
He's great. Guess what. He made his first look today.
Derek Zoolander
Really?
Matilda
You wanna show Daddy your look, Derek, Jr.?
Derek Zoolander
Wow. Wanna hang out for story hour?
Matilda
Great. Yeah. Let's go.
Derek Zoolander
Hey kids, who wants to hear a story?
Kids
Yeah!