The Big Lebowski

I'm a Lebowski, You're a Lebowksi

The Big Lebowski
About The Big Lebowski
  • Released in 1998
  • Directed by Joel Cohen, Ethan Cohen
  • Produced by Polygram Filmed Entertainment
Characters in This Scene
Jeffrey Lebowski (Big)
David Huddleston
Jeffrey Lebowski
Jeff Bridges
I'm a Lebowski, You're a Lebowksi Full Transcript
Jeffrey Lebowski (Big)
Okay sir, you're a Lebowski, I'm a Lebowski, that's terrific, but I'm very busy, as I can imagine you are. What can I do for you sir?
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Jeffrey Lebowski
Uh, well sir, it's, uh, this rug I have, it really tied the room together... uh...
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Jeffrey Lebowski (Big)
You told Brandt on the phone, he told me. Where do I fit in?
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Jeffrey Lebowski
Well, uh, they were--they were looking for you, these two guys, uh you know they--
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Jeffrey Lebowski (Big)
I'll say it again, you told Brandt on the phone. He told me. I know what happened. Yes? Yes?
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Jeffrey Lebowski
Oh, so you know they were trying to piss on your rug?
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Jeffrey Lebowski (Big)
Did I urinate on your rug?
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Jeffrey Lebowski
You mean, did you personally come and pee on my rug?
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Jeffrey Lebowski (Big)
Hello! Do you speak English son? Parla usted ingles? I'll say it again. Did I urinate on your rug?
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Jeffrey Lebowski
No, like I said, Woo, peed on my rug.
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Jeffrey Lebowski (Big)
I just want to understand this sir, every time a rug is micturated upon in this fair city, I have to compensate the person?
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Jeffrey Lebowski
Come on, man, I'm not trying to scam anybody here, uh, you know, I'm just, uh...
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Jeffrey Lebowski (Big)
You're just looking for a handout like every other--are you employed, Mr. Lebowski?
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Jeffrey Lebowski
Huh? wait wait, let me, let me explain something to you. Uh, I am not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know, uh, That, or uh, his Dudeness, or uh Duder, or uh El Duderino, if, you know, you're not into the whole brevity thing... uh.
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Jeffrey Lebowski (Big)
Are you employed, sir?
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Jeffrey Lebowski
Employed? ah ha...
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Jeffrey Lebowski (Big)
You don't go out looking for a job dressed like that do ya? On a weekday?
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Jeffrey Lebowski
Is this a--what day is this?
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Jeffrey Lebowski (Big)
Well I do work sir, so if you don't mind--
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Jeffrey Lebowski
Yeah, I do mind. The Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man. I mean, your wife owes money--
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Jeffrey Lebowski (Big)
My wife, is not the issue here! I hope that someday my wife will learn to live on her allowance, which is ample, but if she does not, that is her problem, not mine, just as your rug is your problem, just as every bum's lot in life is his own responsibility regardless of whom he chooses to blame. I didn't blame anyone for the loss of my legs, some Chinaman took them from me in Korea but I went out and achieved anyway. I cannot solve your problems, sir, only you can.
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Jeffrey Lebowski
Ah fuck it.
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Jeffrey Lebowski (Big)
Oh, Fuck it! Yes, that's your answer! That's your answer to everything! Tattoo it on your forehead!
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Jeffrey Lebowski (Big)
Your revolution is over, Mr. Lebowski! Condolences! The bums lost!
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Jeffrey Lebowski (Big)
...My advice to you is, to do what your parents did! Get a job, sir! The bums will always lose-- do you hear me, Lebowski?
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Jeffrey Lebowski (Big)
THE BUMS WILL ALWAYS LOSE!
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