Characters in This Scene
Claire Cleary
Rachel McAdams
Sack Lodge
Bradley Cooper
Gloria Cleary
Isla Fisher
Jeremy Grey
Vince Vaughn
John Beckwith
Owen Wilson
Secretary Cleary
Christopher Walken
Kathleen Cleary
Jane Seymour
Todd Cleary
Keir O'Donnell
Crab Cakes and Football Full Transcript
Claire Cleary
I'm open, I'm open!
Sack Lodge
There you go. Nice, nice, nice.
Gloria Cleary
Clothes fit.
Jeremy Grey
I'm not even gonna say it, but you know I'm upset.
John Beckwith
I know you are. I think you look good.
Jeremy Grey
You know I don't look good.
Gloria Cleary
Hey, honey! I'm over here!
Some Guy
Are you ready? Are you ready for some football? You want the noise brought on you cause' here it comes.
Jeremy Grey
The what?
Some Guy
The noise brought on you. Here it comes.
Jeremy Grey
Just hike the ball, nut job.
Secretary Cleary
Ready! Set! Hut! Hut! Hike!
Sack Lodge
One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi.
Some Guy
Yes!
Kathleen Cleary
Wow.
Gloria Cleary
Whoo!
Some Guy
Yes! Crab cakes and football! That's what Maryland does!
Jeremy Grey
Nice one.
Sack Lodge
A little out of shape?
John Beckwith
Yeah.
Some Guy
Way to bring it.
Sack Lodge
Anticipate that rush.
Some Guy
No I just saw you had it.
Sack Lodge
Hey, shut up! You gotta anticipate that rush.
Some Guy
Of course I do. You did a great job.
Jeremy Grey
What happened, Toast?
John Beckwith
I think he's on steroids. It was like trying to cover a fucking racehorse.
Sack Lodge
Get it up! Get it up!
Jeremy Grey
Well, don't worry about it. We'll burn them with the post.
John Beckwith
No, no. No, I got a better idea. Look, I want you to fake the post throw an interception to Claire, get her to feel good. Gets her involved. You think you can do that?
Jeremy Grey
John, I was first team, all-state. I can put the ball wherever I want to. I'll make it rain out here. All right, guys, bring it in. Blue 17! Blue 17! Red 7!
John Beckwith
Oh, you're gonna cover me?
Claire Cleary
Like white on rice.
John Beckwith
All right, I like my odds here. I'm gonna give you a little warning: I'm going downtown.
Jeremy Grey
Hot route! Red 7, Red 7, Red 7!
John Beckwith
Look for me in the end zone after the play, I'll be the guy holding the ball.
Jeremy Grey
John!
John Beckwith
What?
Jeremy Grey
Red 7!
John Beckwith
I don't know what "Red 7" means.
Jeremy Grey
Hot route!
John Beckwith
I don't... What is "hot route"?
Jeremy Grey
Will you just go stand on the other side, please?
Claire Cleary
Are you running away from me?
John Beckwith
No. I'm just getting over here.
Claire Cleary
You scared?
Jeremy Grey
Down!
Claire Cleary
Come on.
Jeremy Grey
Ready, down, set! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hike!
Gloria Cleary
Go, Jeremy!
John Beckwith
Hey, yo! Hit me! Hit me!
Some Guy
Booyah! That's what we call a "Sack lunch"! Yum, yum, yum, yum. Ow, burn.
Sack Lodge
Big tree fall hard, right? How many fingers I got up? Come on, Pepe, how many fingers I got up? Oh, come on, I got four. Okay, here's five
Secretary Cleary
Man down! We got a man down. You okay?
Claire Cleary
Hey, is your brother okay?
John Beckwith
What? Ah, he's fine.
Jeremy Grey
I can't breathe.
Sack Lodge
What's that?
Jeremy Grey
I can't breathe.
Claire Cleary
No, no, no, I think he's really hurt.
John Beckwith
Well, serves him right after that throw. Hey. Baba ganoush.
Sack Lodge
I don't know what got into me, secretary, I just...
Secretary Cleary
I do. Five generations of Lodge family breeding. Your father used to pull the same stunt... when we were your age.
Jeremy Grey
I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
John Beckwith
You okay? Great. You threw it perfectly. Come on, get up. Don't oversell it.
Jeremy Grey
I'm not selling anything.
John Beckwith
Come on, stop milking it. You make us look like a bunch of pussies.
Secretary Cleary
Jeremy. Sit this play out. Todd, come on in.
Todd Cleary
You must be joking.
Secretary Cleary
It wouldn't kill you to play some competitive sports... once in a while, would it?
Todd Cleary
Oh, would that make you love me?
Secretary Cleary
Pfft. Jesus.
John Beckwith
Hey, Jeremy, Red Moon Dog 7-11. Forty-two, 30-teen. Hut one! Hut two!
Claire Cleary
Blitz!
John Beckwith
Jeremy!
Jeremy Grey
Oh! Ah!
Kathleen Cleary
That looked like it hurt.
Gloria Cleary
Ooh.
Claire Cleary
I got you.
John Beckwith
No, you didn't.
Claire Cleary
You're cheating.
John Beckwith
You're cheating.
Claire Cleary
Oh, my God. Your brother, he's down again.
John Beckwith
What is his deal?
Sack Lodge
I don't know what's getting into me today, guys.
Secretary Cleary
Nature versus nurture, Lodge. Nature always wins.
John Beckwith
What are you doing? It's a game of touch. Every time I look over, you're on your ass again.
Jeremy Grey
If I had any air in my lungs, I'd scream at you.
John Beckwith
Oh, now you're gonna blame me? Because you're not athletic enough to stay on your two feet?
Jeremy Grey
I hate you.
Secretary Cleary
Let's take a daiquiri time-out.
2 Guys
Daiquiris.
Gloria Cleary
Oh.
Kathleen Cleary
Sweetheart, why don't you take him into the house and fix him up?
Gloria Cleary
Sure, Mom.
John Beckwith
No, don't baby him. It just makes it worse.
Jeremy Grey
Oh, my back hurts.
John Beckwith
Oh, great. Game's over. Satisfied? You got everyone on you now. Get all the attention.
Gloria Cleary
Come on, baby.
Kathleen Cleary
It's hot out here.
John Beckwith
Yeah, it is.
Kathleen Cleary
Yeah. You should have played in your underwear. I'll get you a drink.