Wedding Crashers

Jeremy and the Priest

Wedding Crashers
About Wedding Crashers
  • Released in 2005
  • Directed by David Dobkin
  • Produced by New Line Cinema
Characters in This Scene
Priest
Jeremy Grey
Vince Vaughn
Jeremy and the Priest Full Transcript
Priest
Hello, son. You okay?
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Jeremy Grey
Not now, Father, please. No offense to you, I think we might be on different wavelengths. I think you'd just be spinning your wheels with me. But have a little of the sacrament here. No one likes to drink alone. We'll set you up. There you go, get your hands on it. Take it while it's hot. I'm gonna pour till it's on the tray. Here it is. Can I ask you a question, Father? You ever get horny? I'm sure you do. But I guess in your position, right? You're not allowed to... sleep with anybody, right?
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Priest
No.
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Jeremy Grey
Does that get tough sometimes? Do you ever pull on yourself or...? Everything works? Do you get swelled up still?
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Priest
Yeah, of course.
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Jeremy Grey
Well, what do you do?
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Priest
You pray.
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Jeremy Grey
Yeah, I pray too, you know what I mean? She's good. I mean, I believed that she was a virgin. It hurts to be lied to like that. It's a horrible feeling to feel that way. But I was looking to take advantage of something too. So could I really feel that bad? It's not like I was who I was. You know what I'm saying? So fair play. And let's be honest with each other here, okay? Let's put all the cards on the table. She's fit for a straitjacket. She's fucked three ways towards the weekend. And you wanna know what? I dig it. It turns me on. Yeah. It turns me on. Because you wanna know what the kicker is, Father? Maybe I'm a little fucking crazy. That's right. Maybe Jeremy's a little nuts. Maybe there's something about me that I'm a little cuckoo. I know it's a surprise. I know it's not on the surface. Man I had an imaginary friend when I was a kid. His name was Shilo. We used to play checkers with each other every day... and bless his heart, Shilo would always let me win. And that ain't normal. There's something odd in that. Maybe that's what it takes to make you feel connected to somebody. I don't know. I know when that redhead starts getting kooky... that something about me feels alive inside. I dig in talking with you. You're an enlightened cat... and I like that about you. I think you're a special, special man. Okay, come in here for the real thing. Get in here for the real thing.
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Priest
Oh, oh.
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Jeremy Grey
I love you. You're a sweet man.
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Priest
Oh, dear God.
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