Wedding Crashers (2005)

Top Quotes from Wedding Crashers

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Best Wedding Crashers Lines
  • Mr. Kroeger
    I don't have custody of the kids I don't get custody.
    2 people liked this quote
    From the scene You Shut Your Mouth

  • Mrs. Kroeger
    You shut your mouth when you're talking to me.
    2 people liked this quote
    From the scene You Shut Your Mouth

  • Jeremy Grey
    Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced, awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there wondering, "Do I have food on my face? Am I eating? Am I talking too much? Are they talking enough? Should I play like I'm interested? I'm not that interested. She might be interested. Do I want to be interested? Now she's not interested. So now, all of sudden, I'm starting to get interested. " When am I supposed to kiss her? Do I wait for the door? Then it's awkward. It's like, "Good night. " Do you do the ass-out hug? Where you, like, hug each other like this and the ass sticks out because you're trying not to get too close. Do you kiss them on the lips? Or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult to read the situation. All the while you're wondering, "Are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions?" And perhaps play a little game called Just the Tip. Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or Ouch, Ouch, You're on My Hair.
    2 people liked this quote
    From the scene Just the Tip

  • Jeremy Grey
    I gotta get out of here, pronto. I got a Stage 5 clinger.
    2 people liked this quote
    From the scene That Was My First Asian

  • Jeremy Grey
    Did you hear what I just said to you? Stage 5? Virgin? Clinger? Let's go, I'm gonna start the car. I'm serious, let's go. I don't think you appreciate the urgency. Not only is she a virgin, she's totally off the reservation. I'm terrified of this broad.
    2 people liked this quote
    From the scene That Was My First Asian

  • Jeremy Grey
    Stop traffic. Because when I go back to town... I'm actually gonna see an orthopedist about what you did to my back. Not just any orthopedist. I'm gonna see a Dr. Epstein who specializes in...
    2 people liked this quote
    From the scene Holy Shirts and Pants

  • Trap
    The "Big Sleazy," Tommy Gufano. He's a wop genius.
    2 people liked this quote
    From the scene Sluts!

  • Secretary Cleary
    What's wrong? Look... we have no way of knowing what lays ahead for us in the future. All we can do is... use the information at hand to make the best decision possible. It's gonna be fine. Your whole life is gonna be fine.
    2 people liked this quote
    From the scene Claire Bear

  • Random Girl
    I gotta go.
    2 people liked this quote
    From the scene Ma, Meatloaf

  • Mr. Kroeger
    Hey, I got an idea. Why don't you just kiss my left nut?
    1 person liked this quote
    From the scene You Shut Your Mouth

  • John Beckwith
    Sanjay Collins.
    1 person liked this quote
    From the scene Wedding Montage

  • Secretary Cleary
    Well, the guy wants to run for president.
    1 person liked this quote
    From the scene Claire's Toast

  • Claire Cleary
    Oh, so you're hiding, I see.
    1 person liked this quote
    From the scene Claire's Toast

  • John Beckwith
    Well, everyone's so nice. It's easy.
    1 person liked this quote
    From the scene Claire's Toast

  • Claire Cleary
    What's true love?
    1 person liked this quote
    From the scene Claire's Toast

  • John Beckwith
    True love is your soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another.
    1 person liked this quote
    From the scene Claire's Toast

  • John Beckwith
    I think you're gonna hear crickets.
    1 person liked this quote
    From the scene Claire's Toast

  • Best Man
    And so, after my ninth stint in rehab, um, Craig Oh, Craig. Craig was the only one who still believed in me. Been sober now for eight months. And, uh, I thank God every day... for sending me a friend like Craig. I love you, man.
    1 person liked this quote
    From the scene Claire's Toast

  • Claire Cleary
    I never thought my sister would find someone who cared about what other people thought as much as she did until I met Craig. Uh... As you all know, my sister and Craig are both lawyers... at big law firms in New York. But that's not the only thing they have in common. Um They both like the color green like Craig's eyes and money. Um, heh... You know, someone once told me that... true love is... the soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another. And I think that that's a very rare thing in this world. And I think it's something to be valued. And I'm just really happy that my big sister's found it. Congratulations, Chris.
    1 person liked this quote
    From the scene Claire's Toast

  • Jeremy Grey
    I am... Well, it does, it sounds very nice. And I'm flattered that you would think of me Gloria to include me in something like that. Thank you. It kills me however to have to tell you I'm sorry, I just... Timing's no good. I can't make it.
    1 person liked this quote
    From the scene That Was My First Asian

  • Jeremy Grey
    I'm sure it will be fun for the people that are going. I unfortunately can't go. I don't have... I only have this small piece. I don't have any clothes.
    1 person liked this quote
    From the scene That Was My First Asian

  • Jeremy Grey
    The problem's not solved.
    1 person liked this quote
    From the scene That Was My First Asian

  • John Beckwith
    Deal us in.
    1 person liked this quote
    From the scene That Was My First Asian

  • Gloria Cleary
    Oh, cool, cool, cool. I'm gonna run and find my dad.
    1 person liked this quote
    From the scene That Was My First Asian

  • Jeremy Grey
    No no no! Don't ask your dad. Don't ask your...
    1 person liked this quote
    From the scene That Was My First Asian

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