Wedding Crashers (2005)

Top Quotes from Wedding Crashers

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Best Wedding Crashers Lines
  • Random Girl
    I gotta go.
    5 people liked this quote
    From the scene Ma, Meatloaf

  • Jeremy Grey
    Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced, awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there wondering, "Do I have food on my face? Am I eating? Am I talking too much? Are they talking enough? Should I play like I'm interested? I'm not that interested. She might be interested. Do I want to be interested? Now she's not interested. So now, all of sudden, I'm starting to get interested. " When am I supposed to kiss her? Do I wait for the door? Then it's awkward. It's like, "Good night. " Do you do the ass-out hug? Where you, like, hug each other like this and the ass sticks out because you're trying not to get too close. Do you kiss them on the lips? Or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult to read the situation. All the while you're wondering, "Are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions?" And perhaps play a little game called Just the Tip. Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or Ouch, Ouch, You're on My Hair.
    3 people liked this quote
    From the scene Just the Tip

  • Chazz Reinhold
    Hey, Mom! The meatloaf! We want it now! The meatloaf! What is she doing? I never know what she's doing back there.
    3 people liked this quote
    From the scene Ma, Meatloaf

  • Mr. Kroeger
    I don't have custody of the kids I don't get custody.
    2 people liked this quote
    From the scene You Shut Your Mouth

  • Mr. Kroeger
    Hey, I got an idea. Why don't you just kiss my left nut?
    2 people liked this quote
    From the scene You Shut Your Mouth

  • Mrs. Kroeger
    You shut your mouth when you're talking to me.
    2 people liked this quote
    From the scene You Shut Your Mouth

  • John Beckwith
    True love is your soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another.
    2 people liked this quote
    From the scene Claire's Toast

  • Best Man
    And so, after my ninth stint in rehab, um, Craig Oh, Craig. Craig was the only one who still believed in me. Been sober now for eight months. And, uh, I thank God every day... for sending me a friend like Craig. I love you, man.
    2 people liked this quote
    From the scene Claire's Toast

  • Jeremy Grey
    I gotta get out of here, pronto. I got a Stage 5 clinger.
    2 people liked this quote
    From the scene That Was My First Asian

  • Jeremy Grey
    Did you hear what I just said to you? Stage 5? Virgin? Clinger? Let's go, I'm gonna start the car. I'm serious, let's go. I don't think you appreciate the urgency. Not only is she a virgin, she's totally off the reservation. I'm terrified of this broad.
    2 people liked this quote
    From the scene That Was My First Asian

  • Jeremy Grey
    Stop traffic. Because when I go back to town... I'm actually gonna see an orthopedist about what you did to my back. Not just any orthopedist. I'm gonna see a Dr. Epstein who specializes in...
    2 people liked this quote
    From the scene Holy Shirts and Pants

  • Jeremy Grey
    No. I'd like to recharge my batteries, and shut down the engines... and get myself back to neutral. When the meal's over with, I will talk to you. I don't want to get into what happened last night cause' it'll only make me mad. Let's get through today, let's keep our eye on the prize, let's focus... and let's close some ass.
    2 people liked this quote
    From the scene Midnight Rape or the Gay Art Show

  • Trap
    The "Big Sleazy," Tommy Gufano. He's a wop genius.
    2 people liked this quote
    From the scene Sluts!

  • Claire Cleary
    I... You know, we've just been talking so much about the future lately... and, uh, I mean, I always assumed that we would get married. But... I'm scared. I am. But I think that that's how everyone feels before they're about to get married. I mean, don't you think? Yeah, no. Don't answer that. That's my rationalization and I'm sticking to it.
    2 people liked this quote
    From the scene The Beach Scene

  • Secretary Cleary
    What's wrong? Look... we have no way of knowing what lays ahead for us in the future. All we can do is... use the information at hand to make the best decision possible. It's gonna be fine. Your whole life is gonna be fine.
    2 people liked this quote
    From the scene Claire Bear

  • Chazz Reinhold
    Yeah, I'll throw in a wedding every now and then, but funerals are insane. The chicks are so horny, it's not even fair. It's like fishing with dynamite.
    2 people liked this quote
    From the scene Ma, Meatloaf

  • Chazz Reinhold
    Grief is nature's most powerful aphrodisiac. Look it up.
    2 people liked this quote
    From the scene Ma, Meatloaf

  • John Beckwith
    I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. That's neither here nor there. And I see this widow and she's a wreck. She's just lost the person she loves the most in this world. And I realized we're all gonna lose the people we love. That's the way it is. But not me, not right now. Because the person I love the most is standing right here... and I'm not ready to lose you yet. Claire, I'm not standing here asking you to marry me. I'm just asking you... not to marry him. And maybe take a walk. Take a chance.
    2 people liked this quote
    From the scene Preview of Marriage to Ike Turner

  • John Beckwith
    Sanjay Collins.
    1 person liked this quote
    From the scene Wedding Montage

  • Secretary Cleary
    Well, the guy wants to run for president.
    1 person liked this quote
    From the scene Claire's Toast

  • Claire Cleary
    Oh, so you're hiding, I see.
    1 person liked this quote
    From the scene Claire's Toast

  • John Beckwith
    Well, everyone's so nice. It's easy.
    1 person liked this quote
    From the scene Claire's Toast

  • Claire Cleary
    What's true love?
    1 person liked this quote
    From the scene Claire's Toast

  • John Beckwith
    I think you're gonna hear crickets.
    1 person liked this quote
    From the scene Claire's Toast

  • Claire Cleary
    I never thought my sister would find someone who cared about what other people thought as much as she did until I met Craig. Uh... As you all know, my sister and Craig are both lawyers... at big law firms in New York. But that's not the only thing they have in common. Um They both like the color green like Craig's eyes and money. Um, heh... You know, someone once told me that... true love is... the soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another. And I think that that's a very rare thing in this world. And I think it's something to be valued. And I'm just really happy that my big sister's found it. Congratulations, Chris.
    1 person liked this quote
    From the scene Claire's Toast

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